Wipe the seat

May 29, 2007

I never used to wipe the seat before I sat on the toilet at work. I figured, “Eh, my butt’s pretty dirty to begin with. Nothing can really make it that much worse. Plus, the outside of my butt is the only thing that touches the seat. It’s not like my butt hole is resting on the seat, which also previously housed other people’s butt holes.” But somewhere in my recent past, I changed my mind: I wipe the seat before I sit down (only at work; at home it’s just me and my wife). I figure the toilets at work are pretty dirty because (a) many people use them and (b) people have bad aim. But also, I don’t think my butt is all that dirty. Sure, it stinks when I fart, but it’s essentially just as clean as any other part of my body. I wouldn’t touch the seat with my hand without first wiping it, so I won’t put my butt on it until I wipe it off.

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