How many wipes

April 12, 2007

My friend in high school had a 3-wipe-maximum rule: After pooping, he stopped wiping his butt after 3 wipes, even if his butt required more cleaning. He might’ve had some digestive problems, and his diet didn’t help matters, so his bathroom experiences weren’t too pleasant. And he just got fed up with wiping his butt so much. So he made the cutoff 3 wipes.

I can’t say I blame him. If you’ve ever had a bad poop day, you’d know that your anus just can’t take too much wiping. Despite the putrid environment down there, anal tissue is actually really sensitive. And no matter how soft your toilet paper is, continual wiping will eventually cause some discomfort.

My friend sacrificed his cleanliness for the sake of anal health. And I applaud him for that.

What’s your wipe maximum?


3 Responses to “How many wipes”

  1. BFD Says:

    I have no wipe maximum; I wipe as many times as needed. Actually, I wipe until squeaky clean, and then once more to be sure. It hurts, but it’s worth it, and it’s much more doable in private homes where the TP is not reminiscent of rubbing your ass with asphalt.

  2. Jake Says:

    Until squeaky clean. But then, I use Viva paper towels. It’s like a magic soft kiss for your anus. They’d make millions more if they’d just chop a roll of the paper towels in thirds and sell them as “bathroom tissue”.

    Taking a crap in a public restroom with their awful cheap paper is sort of a “get done what you can and head home” to cleanliness.

  3. FooFooDyne Says:

    Dude, you make me so happy by bringing this up. I am a many-a-dayer, meaning I have several bowl movements almost every day. Just yesterday I had four. And these are rarely small poops, they’re usually water-breachers, as I call them.

    Anyhow, they’re often many-wipers as well and I simply can’t help but wipe my ass into very uncomfortable rawness by the end of the day. It’s horribly annoying but I have to achieve some level of cleanliness.

    FWIW, I don’t have a horrible diet. I think my problem is that I tend to get off schedule on the weekends and make up for it all week, until the cycle begins anew.

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