Fart at the copy machine
January 26, 2007
Gather ’round, children. I’ll tell you all a story.
In the summer of 2003, I had a good internship during my summer break from school. I was housed in college dorms and had recently turned 21, so beer was my best friend. Every Thursday night was an adventure in drunkenness, dancing, and flirting, so I had a good time. One Friday morning, I showed up at work still feeling the effects of the previous night’s beer-scapade. I was working on some sort of big stupid document where I had to gather paperwork from many different places and put it all in one big binder. So I spent my share of time at the copy machine. I walked to a different location in the building to get a signature on a paper, and I used the copy machine in that area. As I was standing there making copies, I let out a nice big fart. I’m not sure if it’s only me, but whenever I drink a lot of beer, I have a certain type of fart. They really stink and they’re followed by a messy poop later. Their stink is unlike any other farts I do. This particular one was huge and really stunk bad. I stood there for a little while organizing my papers and planned on getting the hell out of there as soon as possible. Right before I could, a woman walked up right next to me. I told her to go ahead and use the copy machine because I was still shuffling through my papers. Meanwhile, I was mortified that she was inhaling the disgusting fart that just spewed out of my butt. I stood there in a panic, wondering what I could possibly do to tactfully get out of the situation. I couldn’t just leave. The woman knew I needed to make more copies, and she surely smelled my fart. So I did what anyone would do: I just stood there, nervously shuffling my papers until she left. She finally left after what seemed like an eternity, and I was free to make copies in the gas cloud that came from my ass. Oh what a Friday morning.