Wipe

December 14, 2006

I was listening to the radio the other day, and one of the guys was saying how much he believes in using baby wipes after he drops a deuce. His rationale was that we treat babies’ butts like they’re worth more than gold, but we’re often content with wiping our butts with stuff that resembles sandpaper. We shouldn’t treat ourselves so poorly. He was so convinced of the benefits of baby wipes that he’s basically become an adult baby wipe evangelist. Another guy on the radio show agreed. He said wiping can sometimes be like trying to get peanut butter out of shag carpet. He confessed that he was quoting someone else when he said this, but, ah, what a wonderful analogy.

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3 Responses to “Wipe”

  1. nosugrefneb Says:

    I’m in 100% agreement with this. Nothing is less desirable to me than having a swampy ass all day after a morning poo. The only problem is do you hide the wipes during the bathroom commute, or do you proudly express your cleanliness for everyone to see as you broadcast to the world the fact that you’re about to drop a deuce?

    Better yet: I have a friend who will not poo unless he can shower immediately afterward. I say that’s the mindset of a genius.

  2. divide Says:

    Actually, that’s something that was talked about on the radio show. Is it better to quietly bring a package of butt wipes into the bathroom with you? Or is it ok to keep a box in the bathroom for everyone to use? I’m not sure; I don’t actually use wipes yet.

    And the shower thing: I have a friend who does the same thing. Is your friend’s name Mike? Probably not. My friend Mike poops right before his morning shower, so there’s no need to wipe at all. You’re right; these people are geniuses.

  3. curlyq Says:

    I use wipes and can’t imagine life without them. I don’t bring them to work…but now you have me thinking?? Do I want a “swampy ass” all day…that just doesn’t sound like anything I would ever want LOL
    I think the whole can’t poop till you shower thing is werid, but maybe it’s a guy thing. I mean I can poop up to 3 times a day…that is a lot of body wash to be using.


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