Pee in a bottle
November 2, 2006
When I was in high school, I was the smartest person on earth: I kept a plastic Gatorade bottle next to my bed in case I got the urge to pee but didn’t feel like getting out of bed. The first few times I used it were slightly awkward because I had to get used to the fact that it was ok to pee while laying down. My body was used to holding it in until it saw a toilet. Plus, there was the whole gravity issue: I needed to make sure my dingy was pointed in the right direction, otherwise I’d get pee all over the friggin place. After I got the hang of it, it was a wonderful experience. Instead of getting up to pee in the middle of the night and ruining my peaceful slumber, I just grabbed the bottle from under my bed and pee’d in it. Instead of getting out my nice warm bed and peeing in a toilet that was inches from my sisters’ rooms, I just pee’d quietly into my bottle.
Cleanliness was sort of an issue though. I always got grossed out when I had to carry my bottle full of pee to the bathroom to dump it out. Talk about a gag reflex. And washing the bottle was sort of pointless because it would just be filled with pee again anyway. So after a few weeks, I started to feel a little uneasy about storing this dirty, smelly, old Gatorade bottle right near my head. Eventually, I gave up the practice for bacteriological reasons, and haven’t returned to it since. Plus, I don’t pee as much as I used to, so it’s not much of a problem. However, last night I thought about my old Gatorade bottle as I was lying in my warm, comfortable bed with a sudden urge to pee. I miss you, pee bottle!