Pee in a bottle

November 2, 2006

When I was in high school, I was the smartest person on earth: I kept a plastic Gatorade bottle next to my bed in case I got the urge to pee but didn’t feel like getting out of bed. The first few times I used it were slightly awkward because I had to get used to the fact that it was ok to pee while laying down. My body was used to holding it in until it saw a toilet. Plus, there was the whole gravity issue: I needed to make sure my dingy was pointed in the right direction, otherwise I’d get pee all over the friggin place. After I got the hang of it, it was a wonderful experience. Instead of getting up to pee in the middle of the night and ruining my peaceful slumber, I just grabbed the bottle from under my bed and pee’d in it. Instead of getting out my nice warm bed and peeing in a toilet that was inches from my sisters’ rooms, I just pee’d quietly into my bottle.

Cleanliness was sort of an issue though. I always got grossed out when I had to carry my bottle full of pee to the bathroom to dump it out. Talk about a gag reflex. And washing the bottle was sort of pointless because it would just be filled with pee again anyway. So after a few weeks, I started to feel a little uneasy about storing this dirty, smelly, old Gatorade bottle right near my head. Eventually, I gave up the practice for bacteriological reasons, and haven’t returned to it since. Plus, I don’t pee as much as I used to, so it’s not much of a problem. However, last night I thought about my old Gatorade bottle as I was lying in my warm, comfortable bed with a sudden urge to pee. I miss you, pee bottle!


5 Responses to “Pee in a bottle”

  1. nosugrefneb Says:

    What if you’d just drank a whole bottle of Gatorade, and thus had to pee more than a bottle’s worth? That could get you into trouble, methinks. Personally, I just hold it until the morning…it makes the shower pee that much better.

  2. divide Says:

    If you can fill up an entire bottle of Gatorade with pee, kudos. You’re a better man than I. That’s 32 ounces, brother. The internet told me that a human bladder can hold about 20-25 ounces, but the urge to pee comes on at around 15 ounces.

    When I hold it in for that long, it hurts as it’s coming out. Sure, it feels comparable to sex after the fact, but during the pee, I feel like I can’t get it out fast enough.

  3. nosugrefneb Says:

    Perhaps I’m underestimating the size of the aforementioned pee bottle. I was thinking of the smaller bottles…maybe 20 fl oz.? Yeah, 32 ounces would be tough to keep in there without some serious about-to-pee-in-my-pants dancing, which I imagine is harder to do while supine.

  4. happychick Says:

    I don’t know if it’s ust girls who have to go more than once, but…
    Did you ever pee into your bottle and then forget about it and pee again that night, only to spill your own pee on yourself? Coz that was all I was thinking of during this post.

  5. divide Says:

    I never dumped it all over myself, and I’m pretty proud of that.

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