June 30, 2006
[Ok, so the vast majority of my posts are about farting. What’s the big deal? It’s a great topic and I have a lot to say about it.]
One of the most action-packed events in human history is the drive home after a date with a girl. After you’ve spent several hours eating, talking, watching movies, and doing other stupid cuddly date things, you drive home and have sweet dreams about your little love interest. But before you get in bed — in fact, as soon as you get in your car — you unleash the wrath that had been boiling up inside your bowels for the past eternity. You fart so loud, you wonder if pedestrians can hear it. You fart so hard, you wonder if you just blew out your O-ring. You fart so big, you wonder how such an enormous volume of gas could possibly fit in a single human being.
A while ago, I thought I was the only one who did this. In fact, I didn’t think much of it; it wasn’t a significant event in my life. But I’ve heard several other people tell their stories of post-date farting, and it brings joy to my heart. What a great thing farting is!