Fart at work

March 29, 2006

Sometimes (actually quite often), I fart at work. Sometimes I eat cheese with lunch. I’m lactose intolerant. Cheese for a lactose intolerant is like fuel for a fire. Instead of just farting, I fart foul, disgusting odors. If farts were visible and had a color, these would definitely be green. Sometimes I wonder if my coworkers notice. Do they sit at their desks and think, “Oh there it is again, that disgusting, vile odor. He thinks we don’t know who it is, but oh do we know.” I wonder if people walk by my office area and question where the smell is coming from. I hope they don’t find me. I hope they don’t learn about my dirty little secret.


10 Responses to “Fart at work”

  1. curlyq Says:

    I have the same dirty habit. I swear I think that the paint on the walls in my cube have changed into a more dull version of it’s former self.
    Maybe we need to start a secret club? I bet that we would get doctors, garbage men and teachers in the club. Just something else that brings all us together : )

  2. curlyq Says:

    I just did it again…toot toot.
    Now I panic that someone will walk into my cube while it’s still fresh…ladies don’t fart ya know.

  3. divide Says:

    Laura, is that you? Are you the one who farts in our office, making the air smell of stale milk? (I’m kidding about thinking I know you and that you work right near me, but wouldn’t that be funny/ironic/mortifying for both of us?)

  4. curlyq Says:

    Bob..I knew it was you!!
    and yes, I would be horrifed if you sat near me…you had been smelling my stinky butt for sometime and then knew it was me. I would offically be avoiding eye contact with you at all costs. And I would soon be the new owner of a charcoal fart pad for my chair!!!

  5. divide Says:

    Did you know they make fart filters to purify the air as it escapes your anus? I think we could both benefit from that investment.

  6. curlyq Says:

    I wonder if that could also be a tax right off since it would be for the office??? That is really stickin it to uncle Sam…I ain’t paying taxes for my fart pad!!!

  7. Diva Says:

    Yes people know and they are aware! So you just becareful. I have walked by peoples cubes and it stinks! I know who farts and who doesn’t. Please be more
    considerate of coworkers………go to the bathroom and let it out or take lactose pills.

  8. divide Says:

    I already do both things you mentioned, but I still have a problem. Recently, I’ve been competing with someone else in my office area … someone whose farts smell like spoiled milk. It’s disgusting.

  9. Roscoe Says:

    Check this out, y’all!
    Last Thursday I was drinking all night at home and had about eight cans of beer. My lovely lady then made a late meal of chicken breasts marinaded in Italian herbs and garlic and served in a tomto based sauce. I ate about 6-7 of these beautiful pieces of chicken and went to bed just after midnight. I was in work the next day at 10am and broke horrific wind in the changing room and then walked out, quickly realising that it was a killer parp of some magnitude. I sat at my desk and silently laughed as my colleagues walked in and were revolted by the vile, horrendous stench of stale beer and half putrified chicken. ha ha. The smell was so bad that one guy had to walk out and said he was going to vomit. It hung in the air for at least 20 minutes too! It was the best, most disgusting, sickening fart I’ve ever done and I’m happy to say it was used on my colleagues.

  10. divide Says:

    Roscoe, you’re an inspiration to us all. Thanks for the story. It made my morning.

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