Poop in my pants
March 14, 2006
Sometimes I poop in my pants by accident. It happens more than I’d like to admit. Heck, the fact that it happens at all is more than I’d like to admit. It happens because I think I have to fart, so I try to squeeze it out, but end up squinging in my pants. It’s not that I push too hard. It’s just that I sometimes have really liquidy poop. It happened yesterday at work. And what really sucks is that it gets on my underwear. So I go to the bathroom and take off my underwear. Yesterday, instead of walking around the rest of the day with no underwear, I decided to go buy some. That worked out well.
The same thing happened about 3 months ago, but it was because I was sick. Again, I was sitting at work and lifted my cheek to squeeze out a fart. I had to take off my underwear because they were wet. But then I ended up going home because I felt terrible, and I threw up later.
It happened another time when I was sitting on my couch at home. I didn’t want my wife to find out, so I tried to sneak in the bedroom and put on new underwear. I think I succeeded, but it was weird.
It happened another time when I was in college. I was walking to class and squinged in my pants. I went back to my room, but my roommate was in the shower. So I took my clean underwear to my girlfriend’s room and used her shower. I don’t think she suspected anything.