Dried fruit

June 5, 2006

Ok, that’s it. Once should have been enough. But twice is definitely enough. I just got back from the bathroom, where I violently imposed my will on that poor little piece of porcelain. This was the second time in two weeks that I ate a bunch of dried fruit and had explosive diarrhea. I mean explosive. It wasn’t like a hose squirting out a bunch of water. It was like a gun shooting out a bullet. A bunch of energy behind a [mostly liquid] projectile, and BAM! That’s how it happened.

Now I know: Dried fruit (such as apricots and prunes) are no good.

279 Responses to “Dried fruit”

  1. curlyq Says:

    ohh how I do love fried fruit, but yes it does make me visit the potty a few more times then normal. Dried apricots are the WORST in that regard!!! I wonder how many it would take to fuel a car?

  2. Chris Says:

    I bought a special offer 1kg pack of dried apricots last week. I was driving towards my house and sat there munching away on these damn things. I think I must have eaten about 20 or 30 by the time I got home. As I got out of the car I was overcome (and I mean overcome) by a need to exercise a most violent bowel movement. I had to drop my pants right there and let it drop. Luckily I live in a remote rural area, and was able to perform this, what must have been an appalling spectacle, in private. It felt like someone had attached a high pressure hose to me. I have never experienced anything like it in my entire life. For about 6 hours afterwards I was expelling gaseous matter from my rectum of a nature too abominable to even begin to describe. I was tempted to do the teenage ‘lighting up’ thing but, seriously, was afraid I might hurt myself. It eventually culminated in another bowel movement, this time situated on the lavatory, so violent that I had to take a shower afterwards. Thank God I was not up in town or something.

    • Nicole Says:

      HA HA HA!!!! I had the same experience. Just not as bad as that. I farted ALL DAY and Big ones…I had liquid bowel movements for at least three hours every ten minutes. It was horrible! Your story makes me feel a bit better lol

      • Taylor Says:

        Oh my goodness!!! That totally cracked me up!! I’ve experienced similar symptoms after eating those dang things!!

  3. divide Says:

    Chris, you are a god among men. You actually pooped right outside your house? That’s kinda weird. But also kinda cool. I envy you. And your “high pressure hose” analogy is right on. I’ve been there, brother.

  4. melissa Says:

    I ate dried apricots this morning, and now I’m busting out huge farts at work.

    • MAx Says:

      OMFG really? I just googled this since my guts are churning right now and ive eaten like 10 of em at work… Is this going to really embarass me?

      • rob Says:

        Last few days I was getting the worse wind I ever had in my life and I did not know what was doing it, but after eliminating different foods it turns out it was the Dried apricots, On one morning I must have eaten half of a kg bag of Dried apricots and have the most embarrassing day of my life with most powerful wind humanly possible and could hear that churning noise going on in my guts for 24 hours, every situation was a total embarrassment I was red in the face with embarrassment and shame and I was getting some really bad looks and even some hurtful words was said to me that day,
        I really like to put that day behind me, so to speak!
        Why are Dried apricots so powerful?

  5. divide Says:

    Melissa, thanks for sharing. May God bless you richly as you also bless others.

  6. Laura Says:

    It’s quite funny, but I have the same problem. Apricots are dreadful, I am 13 and my family can always tell when I have farted – because it stinks! It literally feels as if everything I’ve eaten that day is just going to fall out of my butt. Yuck

  7. April S. Says:

    I love dried apricots but they give me the most noxious gas. My coworkers and I were standing outside recently after a fire drill- I ripped an apricot induced fart and my coworker thought the smell came from the sewer.

  8. Landon Says:

    So get this… A couple of days ago I went shopping with my wife and noticed some dried apricots. Thought, hmm… that could be good for a snack a work. I love the things so I ate about 1/3 of the jar the first day. I noticed I had some really bad gas that night but I thought it was something that I ate for lunch that day. Well I didn’t make the connection until today when I ate the other 2/3 of the jar. I started farting at about 5:00PM today and its now 10:30 and it just keeps getting more frequent. Currently I’m farting about every 45 seconds and they are pretty big ones. (smell horrible too! I thought I was going to pass myself out) I finally decided to google dried apricots and see if that was the culprit. Looks like it! My wife says she feels bad but I’ll have to sleep on the couch tonight. I don’t blame her. Maybe I should try and take a dump. That might relieve me a bit.

    • Nicole Says:

      Seriously…After you take a dump…it is finally over. You will still pass gas a bit longer…but it slows down. Besides…apricots are AMAZING when it comes to constipation. It cleans out everything! lol

  9. Landon Says:

    Oh, and I’ll leave the shopping to my wife from now on out!

  10. Steve-o Says:

    ahh it must be apricots.

    i also googled apricots after almost sneding an entire train carriage to the casualty ward with my vile, detestable farts, which are still ripping through my chair as i type.

    one girl on the train came up to me and said something really stinks around here, and thought that maybe the man standing behind us had shat his pants. i agreed

  11. Joe Says:

    Yeah- my wife and I bought some dried apricots at the grocery store and we had several on the way home. We then proceeded to eat a full serving of leftover stuffed salmon for lunch. A couple hours later both of us were dropping large horrific farts all over town as we ran our errands. We think someone passed out in Kohls from the fish-farts. Moral of the story: don’t mix apricots with leftover salmon.

  12. Amanda Says:

    I am so glad that someone posted this! Occasionally I eat dried apricots cause they are so wonderful, but I ate quite a few tonight and it feels like I might as well camp out in my bathroom with how often I have to sit on the toilet! Its really sad but I guess moderation is very important with this gassy fruit. It is so difficult to only eat a few though.

    • Nicole Says:

      OMG…I know that feeling! I just wish those weren’t the ones that did that. They taste so amazing!!

    • Giovy Says:

      OMG I am 27 weeks pregnant and I ate apricots today!! I feel like a balloon full of Gas!! I dint think I will be having that anymore !! Horrible.

  13. casey Says:

    oh geez! i did the same thing as most of you.
    I was at the store yesterday and I saw Turkish Dried Apricots. I thought great and health snack for work! So I brought a whole bunch to work today and had been snacking on through the morning – well just as lunch came around I started getting these horrible stomach cramps. Then I noticed gas needed to get out with out my being able to retain it. I have made many trips to the bathroom just to let out this gas! I just hope the horrible diarrea you all are talking about will hold off until I can make it home tonight… 2 more hours to go. Boy I learned my lesson, so much for eating healthy snacks.

    • Kelly Says:

      Hey Casey i got those those same type today. I started munching away, i think i ate more than a dozen. I farted all day. When i got to work i started to have diarrea. I last time i went to the bathroom before i should leave work, that old bathroom started to give problems and overflowed. It wouldn’t stop running…….Bottom line, no more apricots for me!!!!

  14. Fart King Says:

    Holy crap, people… this is one of the funniest things I have EVER read… I’m crying reading these comments right now. Bravo.

    • Becky Says:

      OMG…am laughing so much I cant read the screen through the tears!! Am having the same problem right now and its sooo funny reading these!

      • Becky Says:

        Have had to open a window before I die….

      • Holy Apricot Says:

        OMG – I agree. My eyes are on fire from my mascara running into them. I’m crying over here. To Becky – I’m with you, reading this and going through it at the same time. Funny Stuff!!

  15. RH Says:

    Oh yeah, had some this afternoon … looks like its gonna be a long night

  16. Joe Says:

    Apricots have good fibre, which we need so we don’t do sloppy shits etc. Thing is, if we don’t eat much fibre (and no, soft drinks, cakes, McDonald’s is not fibre!) then when we do eat something really fibrous — like apricots — our body goes nuts. That’s why you gotta gradually include it in your diet. A few dried apricots… then a few more… then some more. That way, you’ll make it to the can in time!

    • jessica Says:

      Ahhhh….the fibre….the apricot fibre is tearing my stomach APART right now. Anyone’s stomach really swollen and distended after eating lots of apricots? Mine looks nuts right now!

  17. Simon Says:

    Yup, been in this boat. Bought some dried apricots (150 grams of those little beauties) to go with lunch the other day. I love ‘em. Sadly, they really, really do make you fart like crazy. After an hour of uncontrollable flatulence I was forced to retire to the bathroom.

    I can hardly describe what happened. It was massive.

    Wasn’t the end though, they realllllllly sort out your digestive situation. I sat at my desk for another four hours letting out long, sneaky ones. No smell fortunately – I don’t think anyone at work twigged…

    BY 5.30pm there was too much pressure and I was forced one again to retire to the bathroom, whereupon the lord himself must have cringed. Litres and litres of gas, I reckon they heard it next door. I actually had to wait until there was no-one left in the bathroom before exiting the cubicle… too embarrassing.

    Good fruit. Nasty aftermath.

  18. Woodengun Says:

    Oh got, I’m in the same farty boat as all of you. All I have eaten today is about 20 dried cots and they have rendered me into a useless, farting pile of what used to be a brave man. Thank god my girlfriend is at work but I’m scared the smell has permiated the apartment and that I’m unaware of it because of the hours I have been soaking in it. I’m sure I’ll have to wash all my sweaters now. For some strange reason there have been a few times when I could eat 20 or so and be perfectly fine. Maybe they have different genetic apricot strains or something. Going to the bathroom wasn’t much fun either, as the human body doesn’t really “digest” apricots… just passes them through like some hellish intestinal stink rake.

  19. yaya Says:

    so i had some dried apricots ate them on the way to work today about 20 min then ate more at work came home had dinner 6:00 the farting started and its now 8:00 hasnt stopped had i took the time to look this up ii would have never eaten them, i guess its gonna be a long night. oh and i shared my bag with on of the kids in my program he ate like half the bag poor kid i wonder what his night is gonna be like

  20. tina Says:

    I don’t know if this would be so laugh-out-loud hilarious if I hadn’t just been through it myself, but I am crying from laughing. My gaseous saga began when I bought a bag of dried apricots and had lunch at my favorite local Mexican restaurant the same day. I ordered a la carte and had a side of refried beans, so I blamed them. The first night, I was up for hours, with the worst gas of my life, making noises into the toilet like shooting an air horn into a megaphone! (There are new neighbors in the apartment next door who sleep right on the other side of my bathroom wall, too. Got to know them a little too well that night.) Had a second episode last night after having a tiny portion of leftover beans for lunch, so threw them out. I was on my 2nd apricot today when I remembered that I’d downed dozens yesterday and decided to Google “dried apricots gas.” Hope I can get away with 2…

  21. Unsolved Mystery Says:

    I don’t know if my stomach hurts more from laughing or this gas chamber builing up.My fiance and I are a deadly duo right now and decided to google dried apricots. All I can say is OMG! We both started sneaking out of the room, and then our trips became more frequent. We think we may win the guiness book of toilot paper usage is the shortest period of time. As for Unsolved Mystery of those houses that explode, some guess its a gas line, some think its struck by lighting. We ALL know now its for the unfortunate few who ate the whole bag in one night! -M&M

  22. Apricots are fun! Says:

    Oh dear god – these comments are too funny. I’ve been blaming my apricot farts on the dog for 3 days now. My husband keeps yelling at the poor pooch and telling him he smells like inside out-asshole. I’m so over this healthy snack!

  23. Eric Says:

    Great to see that us dried apricot lovers aren’t alone, and also great to hear about the rest of your humorous anecdotes, however unpleasant the situation that brought them about may have been. I too have been stuck down with a case of gas/solids. It all started at about 3 this afternoon when I ate a whole 200 gram bag of the little devil fruits, since then I haven’t stopped farting and I have to be careful because they are the type of farts that if you exert too much pressure upon release, you are likely to follow through and soil your pants (that briefly happened). Luckily I have the day off work today and the missus is away, so I am not causing very much inconvenience to anyone other than myself. I would like to end this entry by saying how wonderful it is to be able to laugh at something so embarassing through the internet, surely I would curse all you people if I were stuck in a train/office/bed etc with you, but it seems that we have been destined to tell the world about our exploits.

    PS, I also googled apricots and farts.

    • ann Says:

      i am here reading all these comments and stories laughing soo hard because i was at a store today and seen a 350 gram bag of dried apricots ,never had one in about 12 years ,so i said the hell with it i am gonna eat something heathy for a change .so of course i started eating them when i was on facebook lol and before i know it they are all gone ,all of a sudden my tummy felt a little tight ,then the huge farts i mean huge lol then i started to laugh at them because they were soo loud .i stayed here a bit on the computer then decided to go to bunk just as i layed next to my husband i let a great big fart go he jumped fell out of bed and all i could do was laugh .i cannot lie down yet the tummy is not ok yet but i have not have to go use the bathroom yet liek ye all did hopefully not .well hopefully i will be ok or i will explode for sure

  24. Jenn Says:

    hilarious!!! thank you very much for the reading material. I am right there with everyone! I bought a bag of dried mixed fruit from Sam’s club and experienced the same symptoms. I stopped and then bought a different bag of dried mixed fruit and experienced it all over again. Since my bag of dried fruit was mixed I assumed that it was all the fruit. Is it just apricots or has anyone experienced other fruit culprits?

  25. joe Says:

    This could have been the best reading material I have read in ages. I made a new years resolution to eat healthy, Vitamin A, antioxidants, fiber, and a fruit! See you later Mr Carrot and see you later bran cereal! The miracle I had been looking for has been found! I bought a nice big bag of these at the wholesale club, and started eating them throughout the day. Instead of grabbing a soda, a couple more apricots, instead of a late night snack, a couple more apricots I also started working out (you ever try to bench press free weights while gassy), drinking protein shakes as well as other foods I have never tried before. I figured working out was making me gassy, then I blamed the protein shakes, I figured, what about the cot? It wasnt until I googled “dried apricots gas” that I stumbled upon this website. I have been wearing two sets of underwear with a couple dryer sheets in between to cover the smell for the past few days. To Finch in American Pie, I feel for you brother :) On a side note, I am down 7lbs and feel incredibly lighter. Now all I need to do is find a friend who can take the other 3-4lbs of dried apricots that are sitting in the kitchen! Maybe I’ll give them to the mother in law

    • sugaryswt28 Says:

      That is is hilarious about the dryer sheet, I have heard everything now!!! I bought dried apricots for the first time and did not know what was going on with my digestive system a couple hours later lol. I love the dried fruit but the gas is horrible, going to stick to fresh fruit from now on!

  26. Corrie Says:

    Today I googled “why do dried apricots make me fart?” So I followed the first link and found this place of merry fart/poop posts. OMG, I laughed out loud so many times. I am even saving this link so my hubby can read what people are saying about the ‘cot. Today I am happy the grease trap at work was stinky otherwise my day would have been quite embarassing and inconvenient. I love, love, dried apricots. I will try to eat fewer and see if I can get away with that.

    You people are too damn funny!!! Happy farting;p

  27. irene Says:

    oh my god this is hilarious!!!!

    I’ve just googled “dried apricots gas” after i got a bit suspicious about my farting marathon….and found the link to this page…probably the best thing on the net!!!!

    I’ve recently started a special diet, and needed something healthy to much on between meals…so i thought dried apricots would do the trick! i’ve gone through half a 500g packet so far, in 3 days.

    day 1: got clogged up, leaving me feeling as bloated and helpless as a beached whale.

    day 2: violently assaulted the toilet. i even can’t count the number of times i ran for the can yesterday and had what looked like epileptic seizures on the toilet as i machine-gunned toxic apricot residue. i pity the neighbors…the walls are paper thin.

    day 3: i honestly think that I’m capable of farting out the tune to my national anthem – including the long notes.

  28. Null(0) Says:

    This is great. I was wondering what had gone wrong with me last night. I had just finished gym practice and since I had work in a few hours I had decided not to drive home before work (work and gym are far from my apartment) so I sat in a parking lot reading a book and munching on a bag of apricots. I noticed about an hour in (about half a bag -1/2 pound of aprcots- later) that I was having uber-frequent gas attacks, some that were really rank. I was partially concerned that these would end up as embarassing bowel movements before work, making a speedy trip home necessary. I was fine for the most part blaiming the gas on the unwinding I was gettting after working out.By the time I had gotten to wark the gas had turned from horrible SBDs to gut wrentching pains. (I blaimed that on holding them in; I am a server at a restaurant, I can’t go off releasing those beauties to the public.) twice I had to retire to the rest room to sort out my intestinal contents. I was more than once tempted to ask if I culd be sent home, but I toughed it out. So all told I had been suffering 9 hours of horrible bowel experiences. Now, today, the rest of the bag is grinning at me, so I googled ‘Apricots cause gas’ and look what I found!

  29. Kwbts124 Says:

    …and to top it all off, I gave my dog one!

  30. sean Says:

    Thank goodness we finally figured out the cause of my beautiful wife’s horrendous gas. The smell coming out of her cute ass doesn’t seem possible, really. I mean we’re talking 400lb, sweaty, beer guzzlin’, tv dinner eatin’ truck driver farts. I bought a bag of apricots at costco about a month ago and she has been laying the gnarliest most disgustingly thick and clinging to the inside of you nose farts. The farts have actually woken me up twice because they smell so bad. Everybody farts but these are atomic death farts–the smell woke me up–I was gagging and felt like I was sleeping in a putrid sewer. For weeks we have been trying to diagnose–new vitamins, the juicer, chex bars what is it? We even currently have a call into the dr.. She coincidentally just finished the bag tonight so I am keeping my fingers crosssed. No, really, I asked her if some animal crawled up her ass and died, these farts were the worst I have ever, ever smelled…and they just kept coming night after night. I am going to be so grateful if this fart nightmare is finally over.

  31. stinky Says:

    This is absolutely hilarious! I’m in the same boat as all of you… I was so excited when I came home with a box of dried apricots because they’re so yummy. I don’t remember anything like this happening when I was a kid, but I ate a bunch in school two days ago and suffered miserably. I thought maybe I just had an upset stomach from something else, which seemed relatively cured after a miserable bout of diarrhea. So last night, as I was finally feeling completely okay internally once more, I came home from working out and snacked liberally on the delicious little fruits… only to be quickly attacked by violent intestinal pain and horrific bouts of putrid, smelly gas. I tried to go to bed, but could only sleep for half an hour at a time until the gas had built up to a volume where it was so painful it would wake me up… just so that I could fart! And there was no solid relief to follow this time. My poor fiance. My stomach still hurt this morning when I woke up, but since I have emptied myself a little, I feel much, much better. I thought I had food poisoning, but the timing of my pain coincided so neatly with my recently eaten apricots, that it made me wonder…… and as I typed “dried apricots” into google, it suggested the following word: “gas”. Apparently I am not alone. And thus I found this hilarity! Apparently these fruit should come with a warning label.

    And just to make it worse: http://www.springerlink.com/content/8u4566t3x7t75t66/

  32. Shart Says:

    I am suffering right now from a bad case of the Dried Apricot Sharts. Thanks for sharing your hilarious apricot woes, folks, and bringing a little joy into my very smelly, messy evening.

  33. Mary Says:

    OMG I just found out what I have been doing wrong! I have been in misery for 2 days cause I ate healthy dried apricots yesterday and suffered last night (I blamed the tbsp of peanut butter I had on my toast) and then just to make sure I was eating healthy again today I brought them with me to have at work. I must have eaten 20 or 30. OMG I have suffered all night. I’m never eating healthy again!

  34. pau Says:

    So every year I go on a bass fishing trip with a bunch of old buddies. We have this thing where we try and eat the nastiest stuff to create the worst smelling farts and try and stink eachother out of the trailor at night. Now I know what to arm myself at the beginning of this fishing trip. Dried Apricots, baby!!!

  35. Sharty Pants Says:

    This is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life! I am in a similar situation as many of you. I made various new year’s resolutions which included saving and getting in shape. I’m not trying to be Mr. Universe or anything,but I’m tired of having tits, you know. Anyway,I’ve been eating oatmeal at work for breakfast. I love having it with raisins. I figured, “hey I can save AND eat healthy!” Monday morning I came into work early to go to the gym and to buy some dried apricots to cut up and put into my oatmeal (with the raisins). I Figured I can save and eat HEALTHY. Tsk tsk…
    This entire week I have been on the verge of shitting on myself at my desk at work. I’ve been going to the gym at lunch and I eat a protein bar after my workout. I thought that they have been giving me gas. Damn, I glad I found this site, because I just bought a huge box of protein bars and I was prepared to go through the shart attacks for the next few weeks because I payed so much for the bars.

    I want to tell my co workers about this site, but I’ve been letting them rip in the office when they leave. I open the window and turn on a fan, but I can’t be sure that it actually does anything to really get rid of that hotness my ass spits.

  36. sherri Says:

    LOL, This whole line of remarks has me laughing till I am crying!! I love apricots, but can only eat a few and the gas begins!! This afternoon, I ate four and now the entire house is a smell of something that I can not describe!! Hang in there apricot eaters!!

  37. michelle Says:

    ok it all started in an airport. waited to board i thought dried apricots would be a good snack for my trip. up in the air the “explosions” began. for the rest of my journey i was running for the bathrooms. i thought i was some thing i ate or traveling was upsetting my stomach. on my next trip two months later (not thinking of my last experience) i got another bag of the apricots, soon after i began looking for the closest restroom. i was convinced i just did not travel well. it has been four months since my traveling trauma. to day i grabbed a bag of apricots on the run, i hadn’t eaten anything all day so the bag did not last me long. BIG MISTAKE in about 30 min it felt like a battle field was ragging in my abdomen. gas was exploding, and i really needed to get home. as soon as i arrived home i sprinted to the toilet. finally i put two and two together, traveling had nothing to do with my toilet problems. it was the delicious heathy snake choices. i quickly began searching the internet from an answer to my discomfort when i found this web site. misery loves company, and hell ya, thank you to all that help me know that i was not alone. word to the wise, when eating dried apricots, MODERATION is key!

  38. Dan Says:

    Haha!i never knew cots would have this effect!! i ate a whole 250g bag in one go. Then this morning i was letting out long drawn out farts that sounded like something was dying,my dog actually started howling along with them! This then changed into a serious of quick fire machine gun bursts that scared the cat. Just when i thought i was over the worst of it i had to dash to the loo where i quite simply opened up the gates of hell! it was so much effort beads of sweat started to form on my forehead! im not touching them again!!

  39. Apryl with a Y Says:

    Yes, I’m also guilty of google-ing “apricot farts”. I had to know if it was just me or a possible allergy. RANK SULPHER FARTS. The cat looks at me like I am the most foul person in existence. Really they’re great for single people on a diet (as is my case) because they really cut hunger but the side effects are POTENT. But yeah, they build up with the quickness. It has made for intersting reading during my butt-burning periles. Good stuff. And for the next person who comes along like I did…rest assured, no your insides are not rotting out.

  40. Jennifer Says:

    Another victim. I bought some dried apricots at Trader Joe’s today and took them with me to my THERAPY APPOINTMENT this evening! I shared them with my therapist and hope to God that she isn’t suffering terribly now. My stomach began to make weird noises during my session but then the gas began while I was sitting in my car on the side of the freeway waiting for AAA to come change my flat tire. Yes, this was pretty much a worse case scenario sort of day. So, I googled dried apricots gas and sure enough, here is my answer. I am going to good every new thing I am considering eating + gas before eating it from now on. Had I seen this thread first…I could have saved myself (and my therapist) a lot of unhappiness. It IS sort of funny, though! :)

  41. Chanelle Says:

    Seems everyone comes here to get their farts diagnosed!

    I unconsciously polished off a bag of dried apricots today, not feeling sick yet – but can NOT stop farting…totally involuntary. One ripped out when I bent down to pick up the phone, and also when my boyfriend and I were skyping his mum!!!!

  42. littleal Says:

    All I can add is try having the misfortune of your first apricot experience when you are 5 months pregnant! I thought the baby was going to get expelled along with the bloody apricots! So much for upping my iron levels naturally… glad I’ve worked out the trigger though and no longer am concerned that I contracted salmonella via my lunchtime peanut butter fix! Thank god for googled apricot gas ;)

  43. Oh My... Says:

    I ate a half a bag not too long ago, and Oh my…it was awful in the house that evening. I blamed it on my infant daughter. My husband bought it too.

  44. katsa Says:

    great to feel amongst other sufferers. Just experinced the apricot gas and i was stuck in a small room with my husband. he is giving me the “that can’t have been you look and even cat left the room.

  45. Jessica Says:

    I too am 5 months pregnant and just spent the weekend SICK IN BED from, apparently, the dried apricots. And I didn’t know it, either, and so I ATE MORE TODAY when I was finally feeling better! Ack! I had more of the explosive-type of symptoms but also including aches and chills. I’m telling you these things are lethal! Thanks for the funny little post and series of hilarious comments. Sure makes me feel better!

  46. shib9 Says:

    I can totally sympathize with everyone: i had a ‘cot nightmare today. >__< it started last night when my mom made her lovely apricot chicken. There were some cots left in the bag, so i thought, that would make a lovely snack before school tomorrow. The next morning I ate 5 before going to school. I normally have the most silent and stinkless farts at school,but this morning i could tell something was REALLY WRONG. Being an anatomy student,i thought that my large intestine was flippin’ out at me for not eating lots of fiber in the past. I took advantage of the stethoscopes we used in lab today to take a listen down there. It sounded like an orchestra of belching cows! After a horridly gassy day,i grabbed some more after school. I finished the whole bag, and soon enough i was so bloated that i looked a couple months pregnant! My GI tract has become dante’s inferno! I googled dried apricots gas to find a reason why this is all happening and landed here! lol My room smells disgusting and i have to sleep in it tonight! yuck. No wonder dad calls those dang things farticots.

  47. jason Says:

    i noticed the gleaming container on the bench , i reached out in desperation for the taste of dried apricots.i ate one , then another , and before you know it i was grabbing them and swallowing uncontrollably , i must of had at least thirty. I was fully satisfied and decided it was enough.i turned on the tap and cleansed the stickyness from my hands. two hours later it began.I was surrounded in clouds of death which were escaping out of my lower hole and entering my nose holes. My face condensed as the smell completely stunned me. i am left farting in bed , trying to arrange the blankets so the death cloud doesnt attack my nostrills , but my attempts are pathetic, and i fall asleep within the blankets of putrid discust.

  48. Me as well Says:

    Thank god for Google!! I was thinking, “what in the hell have I eaten today exactly?” And I realized the only unusual thing was dried apricots…15 – 20 of them, which is more than enough for all described above. *I* googled “dried fruit diarreah” and found this site. I ate them like 6 hours ago, the worst is over (amazing how quickly they act), but my stomach is still rumbling, and the farts are still coming. And I still have half a bag sitting near me saying “eat me, I taste good, eat just one more…” Get away from me devil bag of fruit!!! (until tomorrow at least)

  49. Calvin Says:

    Like many of you I recently ate about 30 dried apricots and am ruing the decision. I decided I’d try to Google “dried apricots” and “fart”, and here I am. They are very delicious, but I hope I remember never to make this mistake again. I will now only eat the tasty little treats when I’m dying of constipation. Is there any way to balance them out in the diet? Can I eat a bunch of “_______” and reduce my gas?

  50. Aprifarts Says:

    LOL

    Also a Dried Apricot Farts googler.
    Man, i am never going to get these things again!
    Im afraid to go into work tomorrow :(

  51. Cracking Up Says:

    Man… it is truly amazing what a little google search can do for someone – and all the wisdom that comes from it. As I sit here with the biggest gut ache and the hugest farts in town, I catch myself staring at my container of Turkish Apricots. Little did I know that it was healthy little things that have been the cause of my 3-day fart fest and diarrhea doom. healthy smealthy!

  52. holy explosive apricot shit, batman! Says:

    THEY ARE SO ADDICTIVE. I even knew the effects that dried apricots before I ate them…I thought to myself “hmm, I’ll just have 3 or 4″ and then 10 minutes later, 3 or 4 more, and then 2 hours later I had eaten 3/4 of the package I got yesterday. All day I had these horrible, loud, smelly farts (thank god no one was home!) and kept having to run to the bathroom. It’s midnight and I still have explosive diarrhea and massive farting spells. It’s gonna be a long night.

  53. nevermindtheafterthought Says:

    So I’ve known for a while that dried apricots cause gas, yet, I can’t seem to stop eating them. I’m lucky that (despite being a college student) I have a room to myself otherwise my poor roommates would have to live with this awful stench. I’m ashamed to say that I have to lock the doors and open the windows so that they won’t get a whiff of it….SO embarrassing…

  54. wahoowa Says:

    Just finished my 400g container of turkish dried apricots. It has been an uproarious couple of days, but I didn’t realize what the culprit was until just now. The blogmaster here has truly found him/herself a niche market. Long live the comments!

  55. Red-faced with shame Says:

    Yesterday my boyfriend sat and watched me polish off nearly 8 oz. of dried apricots after my workout. He gently said “You know, it’s a well-known fact that eating lots of dried fruit, such as apricots, can, well, let’s just say if you have any intestinal back-up, you won’t in a few hours.” He then wisely ducked out of the apartment for an hour or so. I wish he had instead jumped up from his chair, grabbed the container from my hand and said, “For the love of God, woman! Stop eating those little stink-bombs!” I had to spend the rest of my evening sneaking into the bathroom, opening windows, burning incense, blaming the cat box, EVERYTHING to try to save face. He hasn’t broken up with me yet, so maybe he didn’t notice the toxic fumes I produced. Anyway, as delicious as those innocent little fruits might be, I am officially banning them from my diet.

  56. Chaduke Says:

    When this happened to me I suspected the sulfur dioxide preservative that appears to be on every package of dried fruit I see in the supermarket. Since my “episode” I’ve been wary of all dried fruit. Have you guys noticed this happening with fruit other that apricots?

  57. Big E Says:

    Raisins do it to me. Also, if I eat bananas with peanut butter. Prunes are absolutely horrid.
    My girlfriend had a bag of ‘cots in her desk and was munching on them one day. I was at work in another city and didn’t get home till the next day. She started texting me about her gas issues. I’m SOO glad I wasn’t home. She said the smell was horrible and the crapping was unreal. Like a Wagner power sprayer.
    She did a google search and found this page. I bookmarked it and read it every-so-often. I still laugh.
    I learned a long time ago that those little bastards a capable of squeegee-ing out my guts. I love them but don’t eat more that 3 or 4 at a time. I wish I could have warned my girl but then I wouldn’t be here enjoying this page.
    The guys at work are always trying to stink each other out. I should tell one of them about Apricots and see what happens.

  58. Stinko Says:

    I’m 6 weeks pregnant and thought I got food poisoning from a cookout. Nope! It’s all the lovely dried apricots I ate.
    I stink.

  59. Amy Says:

    Ha, I googled “dried apricots gas” and found myself here as well. I’m laughing at everyone’s comments. Funny thing is I have always eaten dried apricots and never had this happen! I’ve eaten about a handful of Trader Joe’s Turkish Apricots, each day for the past three days, and every day the same gassy problem. Now I wonder if it’s me, or if it’s the apricots that have changed…

  60. April Says:

    I, too, reek of the bnoxious rank from eating dried apricots. My husband has banned them from the house now. But if you can’t resist the yummy snack be sure to include Gas-X in your diet and you will be covered.

  61. Adam Says:

    Why are these fruits not banned? What sadistic villain is producing and selling them for profit? Why are there no warning labels? Seriously, this is just evil.

  62. Suzie, the smelly one Says:

    Thankyou Google for giving me such a good laugh tonight. I too suffered from the apricot windy pops, I thought my husband might divorce me. I actually went up to bed early that night (last week) because I was stinking out the lounge after eating 1/2 a bag of the devil fruits. 10 minutes later he told me the smell was no longer contained in the bedroom but had drifted downstairs to the lounge! He actually groaned out loud when he came up to bed later and pushed the windows open further. Next time I will plan my apricot eating shenanigans to a day when I have the house to myself!

  63. Liz Says:

    Wow, I am glad that I had the thought to google “dried fruit gas” and that I stumbled upon so many others before me who have had such a terrible fate after eating apricots. I’m not sure how I will part from them but as soon as I finish this container, I’ll lay low from dried fruit for a while. Maybe next time I’ll just eat 2 or 3.

  64. kevinkris Says:

    Holy Cow !
    It’s the dried apricots i am eating.
    Couldn’t understand why it’s happening to me.

    Is it Sulphur Dioxide prevative or in general of apricots? I think we have to find dried apricots without suplur dioxide in it.

    As doctor recommended us the dried apricots we are using it.

    Lets see what we can do here. Great post ! Thanks.

  65. AllanMc Says:

    Ive just unleashed all kinds of fury into my poor unsuspecting work’s latrine. I sincerely feel for my colleagues as the smell is lingering in there like a booger caught in the recesses of your nose and which cannot be dislodged regardless of how hard you blow. I think we might need a young priest and an old priest in there to perform some sort of excorsism. Truth be told i actually feel a bit smug about it – ne’er have i been able to fart with such aplomb, but today i have fulfilled my dreams. Vive la Apricots!

  66. Mr Ploppy Says:

    An innocent trip to Tescos here in London UK, and returning with a 500g bag of dried Apricots is how my breif ‘Anus horribilis’ began.
    I munched through half a bag or more, eating until I couldnt eat anymore (they are certainly addictive) and went to bed.

    About 1am, I woke up with the most incredible feeling in my stomach, which i have honestly never felt before – as if my entire insides had been filled with a hundred pork pies. I legged it to the toilet, and sat for a moment in silence listening to my mum gently snoring away peacefully in her room. Then it happened. Like a foghorn gone wrong, I did the loudest fart I have ever known – so loud I litterally scared myself and had to stop. My mum was startled and started coughing uncontrollably in her bedroom, and i heard a loud bang as the foxes lept for their life over the garden fence. I sat in stunned silence with water in my eyes for a moment unable to believe the sheer power of it. But this was just the start. I was just able to mutter the words ‘oh god no’, before I had the most rediculously powerful jets of diarrhea i have ever known, like a firehose at full pressure made worst by farts which actually sounded like the word ‘bowel’, ‘bowel’, bowel’ over and over again. Absolutely beside myself with terror, I tried to sing ‘Heal the world’ by Michael Jackson to myself while clinging onto the toilet for dear life waiting for the nightmare to end, but this didnt help.

    It wasn’t until today typing in the magic keywords ‘dried apricots stomach’ that my fears were confirmed with this pleasant little website. Those innocent orange globes of goodness are produce from the devil himself. I’ve looked at the packaging twice for some sort of warning, but nothing. Even something basic like ‘warning, these may make you shit yourself’ would be a start.

  67. Sore belly Says:

    Goodness me! I have the sorest belly right now and not even some eno has soothed it! Ate 225g packet today after thinking I too would grab something healthy. Moderation must definitely be the key to these little critters as I’ve eaten them numerous times bfore without this reaction. Stomach sounds like a thunderstorm is brewing!

  68. Piggy Says:

    Perfect thing to put in gift baskets for annoying people (coworkers, bridezillas, etc.)

  69. Laura Says:

    I also googled ‘apricot fart.’ I ate about 30 yesterday before I met up with my ex boyfriend, I hadn’t seen him since we broke up 3 months ago so it was kind of a big deal. I noticed in the afternoon that my farts where so nasty and so frequent that my walls where turning brown. My farts are usually nothing much, (dont tell anybody but I actually secretly like smelling them! They smell like violets).

    Once I was out though- my goodness… I had the most shocking, twisting pain in my stomach trying to hold them in. Luckily he didn’t seem to notice, I tried to only do them when I was at the bar, just before I walked away… (sneaky!) I had to excuse myself throughout the evening to release the pressure in my bowels. I dropped piles and piles of apricot poo into the pub toilet :-( so horrible.

    Are they good for us? Today I feel cleansed, maybe if I persevere, and keep eating them, my insides will become nice and clean and this wont happen?

  70. Khendra Says:

    My stomach is rumbling mad. I ate an entire packet’s worth of dried apricots. Whoops! :)

  71. kathleen Says:

    WELL! I’ve eaten dried apricots all of my life and dearly love them. This is the first time I’ve had the terrible results you all describe so well. Today, my blood sugar started to drop [i’m diabetic and that can be a disaster]. I had no glucose pills and no candy but there were apricots in the office kitchen. i ate lots of them! now i’m sitting at work still because i can’t stay out of the bathroom long enough to trust getting on the train to go home!! I’ve really enjoyed reading all the extremely descriptive passages about apricot farts and diarrhea as i try to wait out the frequent trips to the bathroom and hope for a ride home.

  72. mckenncl Says:

    I too have recently suffered the after effects of dried apricots. I bought some last evening and ate half the bag then and half the bag this morning–to results that insulted my own senses!!! They are SOOO good, but SOOO bad at the same time. I stay home and watch my two year old son and don’t have to work, thank God, because I don’t know how I would have worked around other people today. I fear my son will forever think of me as stinky. Maybe put a drier sheet in my shorts?
    Anyway, no one has given any remedies for this gassy disaster. A long time herbal remedy user, I tried a mint tea (any kind of mint will do) and its helped so much already in the past hour! Good luck!

  73. turtle Says:

    Oh my god… I started dieting so instead of a candy bar or something like that for a snack, Dried Apricots. I left Denver munching up the mountains on my way to Steamboat Springs. By the time i arrived i needed to find a rest room quick. After calling on 3 acounts as quickly as possible (with rest room visits between each) i headed for Glenwood Springs got a room and exploded again. I want to loose weight but not all in one day. No more dried apricots for this fat boy

  74. turtle Says:

    here i go again!!But i dont even try to fart, i would shart myself

  75. Tyler Says:

    I just finished an entire night of farting my brains out, It was my birthday sweet 22 and I ate like 2 little bags of apricots. Now I also drank about 2 bags of milk aswell… My roommate whose on the other side of the wall said he couldn’t sleep well because of all the loud farting and shitting noises… worst experience I’ve ever had…

  76. Gloop Says:

    Cant stop laughing after reading this.
    Ive eaten dried Apricots for years, love them, but only realised THEY were the cause of my chronic flatulence quite recently. Prunes are bad but apricots are the worst. The most dangerous brand are Sunsweet Naturally Dark Apricots which taste divine but then they literally blow you away. Once they even ruined a lovemaking session with my wife and got me evicted from the bedroom. They should have a warning on the box because they are a) very addictive b) disrupt your digestive system c) may ruin your sex life

  77. Danielle Says:

    I purchased one pound of dried apricots from the airport with no knowledge that such a horrible result would come from eating about half the bag. I was trying to eat healthy today so I had a salad at lunch but I was still hungry afterwards, so I went for the bag of dried apricots. My stomach started to hurt around 3:50pm making me late for a 4pm meeting with the client. When I returned to the hotel, I put in a call for room service. Had to ask the room service guy to put the tray next to the door, though I normally ask for them to set it on the desk, but I was too embarassed by the smell to let the man come too far inside. After reading this site, I sent the link to my sister, brother in law and dad, but kept my boyfriend off the list. Though I love all the comments, I couldn’t let the boyfiwnd know I was among those on the toilet for an extended period of time.

  78. Michelle Says:

    Go Danielle!

  79. Harris Says:

    Dear God…I thought I had eaten something bad. Turns out the dried apricots are both a blessing and a curse. The gas is so bad my dog jumped off the bed, but I think I lost 5 lbs in a day from the explosive bowels! I do not recommend eating dried apricots on a plane, at work, in a car or any place in public. You will pay a price worse than the devil himself could impose on your unlucky soul. Trust me…only in private with a toilet very close by.

  80. Brucey Says:

    I cant breathe just now for laughing at your experiences! – I too bought a bag of dried apricots a couple of days ago, after deciding to give up my chocolate fixation for something healthier. I was unaware, however, of the potential side effects! – I couldnt think of anything else I had eaten so I googled “do apricots cause gas?”! – I must have gotten through a full can of air freshener last night and today, and im not leaving the house today just incase! – I have never experienced anything so violent and putrid in my life, I thought i was crapping death itself lol! – and the thing is I bought another 2 bags of mixed fruit – think theywill be making a swift exit into the bin!!

  81. Sinak Says:

    Thanks everyone for sharing… I’ve had some minimal discomfort before but I can’t recall how many I ate today.. I was trying to eat healthfully today and had stir-fried veggies and a BUNCH of apricots for lunch. At around 5:30 this evening my insides began to explode. I’m guessing my tenants are pretty horrified right about now. My toddler is smarter than me, she only ate one at lunch and wouldn’t eat any more. Things are starting to settle down now but I would rather have a few extra pounds than see the toilet that many times in a five-hour period. I’m so glad I googled “dried apricots gas” and found all of these stories, I’ve been laughing so hard in between farts… even though I’m uncomfortable and stinky at least I am happy. My husbands told me tonight that apricots are “off limits” from now on.

  82. Arizona Cowboy Says:

    I feel like we should start a new translation for A.A., because for ALL of us it should stand for Apricots Anonymous. Hi, I’m Denny, and I abuse dried apricots ((Hi, Denny!))

    I’m so guilty of just about all the things you bloggers have written about. Instead of my entry being mostly redundant, I would like to highlight an “event” that should shed some new light to the readers, please.

    Generally speaking, I don’t practice moderation all that well, so when I had a sampler of just one of those golden orange jewels, I had to go to a store and buy a very large bagful of them. Commensurate with my passion to eat healthy foods was my passion to enjoy their taste during my first sitting. Buddy-Boy, I ate a lot of them.

    Where my life got interesting, thereafter, was after I went to bed that night and wafted off into a blissful state of deep slumber. I am shooting you a straight arrow when I tell you I woke up 5 times during the night because of how violently loud and explosive sounding my sulfur-bombs were. This noise reminded me of a cross between a very large prison riot mixed with the sound of a mammoth crane accident all erupting at once.

    When these sulfur-bombs alarmed me out of my sleep, of course I was still very groggy minded, but with caveman sharpness I said to myself, “OMG! Did I just wake up my own self due to a fart that was louder than a “Who” concert?!”… and then immediately fall back to sleep (oh, and I did kind of let out a clumsy giggle as I soon fell back to sleep, because I was a bit proud of myself).

    One time, during that night, I woke up about T-minus 2 seconds before one of my big blowers, and in a groggy frame of mind, thought, “These are so violent that I’m now waking up just before launch”.” Then, I immediately launched a bowel-blower, and then I immediately went to sleep, again.

    Has anybody else, out there, awakened themselves 5 times during their night’s sleep? It’s so embarrassing that I couldn’t even dare discuss it with a person face-to-face. You know what I mean?

  83. Jess Says:

    Thank you people!!
    I just had the most painful day, thought I had food poisoning or worse but now I have closure.
    As part of an exercise experiment I had to eat a whole bowl of dried apricots this morning before doing a VO2 max test.
    The rest of the day I have been in agony with trapped wind, running to the loo every five minutes praying I could just release my poor twisting guts.
    At least now I now why!

    I’ve got 4 of these apricot fuelled sessions left, at least I know go get some gaviscon and yoghurt to calm my poor tummy afterwards!!
    Thanks guys

  84. erik Says:

    Man I’m glad I found this A.A meeting (Apricots Anonymous) because I thought I was possessed by something. When I first bought some dried apricots I was thinking, “Awww..these things are good; better than sliced bread! How come the noone raves about them like that?” Later that night I found out why. It felt like a thunderstorm in my stomach! My guts were turning harder than pickup trucks in a tornado. I couldn’t believe how much I had to take a dump! I was literaly releasing demons out of my butt…and once it started it wouldn’t stop! I wanted to call my mom and tell her “I love her” cause it was over.

    However me being hard headed I thought it could just be a fluke. So eating 1 a day here and there wasn’t doing what it did before…so I forgot about it. But here comes a couple days off work and the games are on TV. Me thinking, “man there is nothing to even snack on here”, I started reaching for the apricots again.
    “NUM NUM NUM”…hours go by and more games are on; “MMMMM apricots…NUM NUM NUM”. Now looking at the bag running low I’m thinking, “I’ve gotta get some more. I guess I’ll do it later after I go play some ball.” Well I didn’t make it to buy anymore; nor did I make it to play basketball. I was afraid to leave the dang house for almost 2 days because I kept taking these spontanious craps. How are you going to run fast breaks thinking you might crap on the court? Scary stuff; whoever knew healthy foods can be so deadly?

  85. Anon in Pain Says:

    These hilarious anecdotes are the funniest thing I have ever read on the internet.

    At about 6pm GMT today, I ate a whole packet (100g) of dried apricot. Not only this, I combined it with a 200g packet of dried mango after just finishing an Indian Kebab for my dinner! It started slowly, with farts (of whose vicious nature I should have been suspicious) and outrageous stomach noises. And then, a movement, it was like a blender had switched on in my gut. I couldn’t make it to the bathroom quickly enough. After excreting what seemed like all the known elements of the universe into the porcelain bowl I retired to my room and put my feet up.

    But it was not over. 5 minutes later I was back again in my familiar spot, whilst sporadic debris flew and danced amidst the dark waters below. I believe it was Marlon Brando in ‘Apocalypse Now’ who once said, musing on the horrific dehumanising nature of war and the innate evil of mankind, “The horror, the horror”.

    Ladies and Gentlemen, Marlon Brando would be speechless.

  86. apricot eating idiot Says:

    Another Apricot Fart googler. Thanks for the anecdotes…i’ve been laughing (and farting) all night.

    My friend visited tonight and brought dried apricots for snacks. I’m on the Atkins Diet right now and I’m thinking “I can eat these! Yay!” He’s enjoying salsa and I’m having a very healthy snack.

    An hour after he leaves my room smells like the rancid cold wind of the grave. I was cracking SBDs for four hours; the long ones with the heavy base and a smell that will melt your eyes from their sockets. My god, I thought I’d have to pee into a hanky and hold it to my face because some evil army had let loose with the mustard gas from under my
    computer desk. I ended up Fabreezing the chair…after checking for scorch marks. Thank god I live alone!

    I’m now into hour 6 and the hellish gas have stopped…unfortunately. Because now i’m stuck with gas cramps. I have a feeling that like a volcano those farts were the warning signs and now the pressure will build until the big, sharty eruption that I know is coming.

    Never again, my dears. Never again.

  87. R Dub! Says:

    Hello from Brasil! Where dried apricots are an expensive, exotic food. Thought I’d splurge today at the supermercado. Big mistake.

    Thank God I’m not alone in my sorrows.

    Ate the whole container. It only took about an hour. I’ve been pissing out of my asshole for the past two hours. Sometimes with less than 5 seconds notice. I literally have to pull down my shorts as I am sprinting to the toilet from the living room.

    There should be a warning label!

  88. Mental Mouse Says:

    Yo folks, ever hear of moderation? Each piece of those dried apricots is half of a fruit, just with the water taken out. 20 of them is like eating 10 apricots, which is a heckuva lot of fruit to eat at once.(Likewise with prunes, which are dried plums.) Would you eat 10 apricots or plums at once? And if you did, what would you expect to happen?

    Happy gaseous New Year!

  89. Haha Says:

    hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! all i can say, is my husband and i are laughing our heads off in bed reading these, while i’m blowing him away with my apricot gas. I LOVE DRIED APRICOTS!!!!

  90. Jim Says:

    Like all you unfortunate souls above, I too am the victim of 200g of tasty tasty apricots. Have been farting like a beast all evening and there are no signs that it will ever stop.
    I had the dried organic brown ones. Are they worse? I don’t know. Perhaps when my bowels have recovered from this particular onslaught I could perform some kind of rigorous scientific test.

    Good luck to you all. And remember…it’s never worth the risk. Just go to the toilet. Just in case.

  91. Johnerous Says:

    Just thought I’d throw my hat in the Apricots Anonymous ring since I’m just sitting here farting around after enjoying some Turkish dried apricots. I wonder how many testimonials are required to lobby governments for warning labels. A simple label such as “Dried apricots can seriously damage your social life.” or “Dried Apricots have been shown to cause people to faint in California” would be very helpful, though probably vehemently opposed by “Big Apricot” who has probably known about this for decades. Clearly there is no shortage of material here (both written and fecal!). Some of the writers are very talented. According to Wikipedia it is possible to obtain (organic)apricots without Sulfur Dioxide. I challenge you AA members to go out and find them, eat at least 5 of them and report back your findings to see whether this is the key to enjoying them without contributing to global warming. We shall call it the Great Apricot Sampling (GAS). Post your GAS results here. Next up: World Peace.

    • mau Says:

      I ate organic apricots without the sulphur dioxide. Makes no diff. I’m also pissin out of my asshole and assaulting our loo. Even the dogs are staying the hell away from me. poor bitches their noses are ten times more sensitive then mine, and I aint’ enjoying smellin my own farts. It’s like rotten eggs or cheese. The whole apartment stinks. And I didn’t have too many perhaps about 7 or 8. And these farts are loud, I hit the 100 decibel range without trying. Is this detox extreme. I noted no one has yet a scientific/nutrition explanation yet? I’ll keep searching on google. Perhaps just too many fruits and that’s it. Thank god for the ensuite, don’t have too far to walk tonight and it’s weekend! .

  92. Ryan Says:

    I made this unfortunate connection today…What is nasty about the farts is that even after you rip one and take ten steps away the sewery smell just stays in my jeans and follows me around

  93. Meagan Says:

    Hello all you apricot lovers and sufferers! I discovered this site after having a strong hunch for about a month that my painful stomach cramps were due to the 200g packs of apricots I buy each week. After one particularly moving session, I dropped them from my grocery list, but needed an alternative for healthy munching. I highly recommend dried cranberries! They’re less fibrous, high in antioxidants, and don’t contain sulfur dioxide. I haven’t once had to ravage my toilet since switching over. The best part is that my husband, a very quiet and polite guy who would never make light of me, thoroughly appreciates the change. I always felt so bad for him after an apricot binge…

  94. Unsulphered Says:

    I had UNSULPHERED dried apricots yesterday and today, and still… Lucifer seems to have posessed my colon. It is NOT the preservative! It is the apricot itself that expands your innards and expels whatever may be in it’s path!

  95. totally stinky Says:

    Boy am I glad I found this site! Sitting here in a cloud of stench I believe that I may have found the answer to my recent problem. This has been going on for a couple of weeks, ever since I started munching on what I thought was a healthy snack food. I smell anything but healthy…I smell like dead people..its rancid and unbelievably putrid. On the bright side, I have been told that I am looking ‘incredibly healthy’..my skin has never looked better.
    I have to go change my pants becuase, im going out and the smell in my pants dosnt go away even if i take them off and wave them around a bit. Smell stain.

  96. Apricot Menace Says:

    I’ve been putting out horrid steak-farts all day long and now I know why. I had online read somewhere that dried apricots where healthy and good for digestion so I decided to incorporate them in my new diet. What a load of crap! literally! farts coming out my ass without end! Thanks a lot internet diet research.

  97. Jessa Says:

    All I can say is that ‘cots and I have a love-hate relationship… I love them, they hate me! I recently bought two 150g bags of apricots. I ate just half a packet throughout the day. That was two days ago. And I’m STILL leaking noxious gas from my butt. Seriously, I’m making myself gag! Its awful! You try and hold it in…. okay, good so far… oh — no! There it goes! Oh, okay, that one didn’t smell! Until you move…. and the lethal fumes creep up and clog your windpipe.
    Thankfully I havent been so kindly blessed with the explosive dihorrea you lot have been experiencing!

  98. Never Again Says:

    While grocery shopping over the weekend, I decided dried fruit would be an excellent snack while at work. Tuesday morning, after eating a banana for breakfast, along with Kashi shredded wheat, I ate about 10 apricots…why did I do that? I was unsure if it was the Kashi or the large salad the night before, but my midsection began rapidly expanding. I am a very petite woman, but I appeared to have gone from a size 1 to seven months pregnant in a few short hours. I will tinkle at work but I never use the bathroom at work (if you catch my drift); however Tuesday was an exception. Luckily I had two travel size canisters of lysol in my purse. By the time I made it to the restroom I could barely get my clothes off. As I squatted, the loudest noise I have ever heard erupted from my rear end. I couldn’t believe it! Not only was the gas loud it lasted for an eternity. Luckily no one was that close by…and it didn’t smell. Then I felt a very tiny solid mass escape. I wasn’t sure what it was…as I turned and looked I thought my insides were coming out. But again, I didn’t know what caused this unexplainable gas/bloating. Luckliy I made it home before the explosive gas movements began. Needless to say, I ate apricots at work on Wednesday and again today. As I headed to the bathroom to release some of the pressure, I realized it must be the apricots, as hours earlier the gas had begun and I had completely unzipped my pants and was praying they wouldn’t fall down as I ruched down in elevator 11 floors and across a mezzaine to the “private bathroom.” So, after letting a ton of gas out, I googled apricots and gas. This site is wonderful, brought me to laughter and tears! Boy was I glad. Never Again will I eat apricots, Never Again.

  99. Lesllie Rhodes Says:

    I was so relieved that I discovered the source of the most explosive gas attack in my life. Both my husband and I were afflicted. My detecting skills narrowed down the source of the affliction. To support my reasoning I decided to google horrible gas from dried apricots. So here I am in the company of some 485,000 unwitting souls. It makes on feel ever so much better about their indulgence when you see it on the internet that indeed you are not dying and you are not alone. I have also learned one other valuable lesson from this. I shall pass it on to all. Never trust a fart

  100. John Says:

    Does it smell like sulfur because they’re ‘sulfured apricots’? How much sulfur do they use? Because the sulfur smell is definitely what clued me in to the source of the problem. On the plus side, I can almost levitate. But not high enough to get away from the gas cloud.

  101. Tracey Says:

    Me too. Oh the stench. I am trying to write a job application which is hard enough at the best of times, but much worse when regular stink bombs are being released. After sitting here enduring this I had better get this job.

  102. Sidi Says:

    I’m writing this while sitting in the toilet. Googled apricot and diarrhoea and this came up. My ass is sore from pressurized poop. Talk about Turkish apricots, I live in Turkey! So it doesn’t help at all, there are dried fruits everywhere I look. But today I say bye bye apricots!

  103. mia Says:

    i googled dried apricots and farting and found this thread. now i know why i have been flatulent all weekend. i was starting to worry. its all the dried apricots i have been eating. ouch! painful painful gassy apricots. so good but so bad!

  104. josh Says:

    I ate about 20 dried apricots earlier… no bowel movement yet (few hours after) but I am violently farting like crazy and it STINKZZZZZZZZZz

  105. Sally Says:

    I have been on a diet and trying to stay off carbs, want to get back to a size 12..

    Came accross this threat googling the potential effects of apricots..

    Well I read so much about the benefits of fibre and fruits I got one of those bags of really soft and juicy dried apricots from Waitrose..I snacked on them all afternoon at work, they were irresiteble (like most things that have a bad side).

    Aparently they can be as laxative as prunes!, wish I had known this before I ate a whole pack at work last week!

    Late afternoon I got massive gurgles, bloating and crampy wind!, which got embarrassingly smelly so resulted in several dashes outside to a smoking area to releve the pressure.

    The nightmare came on the way home….diarrhoea!, sudden, and with cramps and real urgency! I got home but not without a minor mishap!!..OMG!!!..lol

    The intensity of the diarrhoea was almost uncontrollable!, thank goodness for Vanish!

  106. Anna Says:

    All i can say is thank god Im not alone!! I have been gurgling all day and with massive awful farts and was beginning to wonder what i had eaten wrong…well now I know…it was those 20 or so dried apricots this morning…Im sooo never eating them again!

  107. Frank Says:

    Owwww! Day of farting and dumping after eating abt 5 oz of a 13.5 ounce box from Walgreen’s on sale for $2. (Only buy them on sale) Must stay away at all times. Warning labels would be awesome! The pain is deadly. Just let it end.

  108. Skid Marks Says:

    This is OUTSTANDING reading material, I’m literally crying laughing at my desk and sending this site to everyone I know. Dried fruit=a really awkward day in a five person office, especially when you share your dried fruit with co-workers and the bathroom is next to your desk. I’m literally ears distance to the missel launching I’ve caused my entire office. Kill me now. No more dried fruit.

  109. Cassie Says:

    I am so thrilled to have discovered this website. I googled “apricots cause gas” after both my husband and I ate some oatmeal with dried fruits of which the dried apricots and blueberries were the offending and stinky contributors. I work right next to an office water cooler so folks had to walk through the green cloud to get quench their thirst. My husband had gas so bad that he remained in the TV room until about 3pm when his bowels stopped waking him up. It was really amazing that our bodies could generate so much gas! I thought it was the chocolate and am so glad that it wasn’t the MAIN cause.

  110. Anne Wolfe Says:

    all kidding aside, dried apricots are what put me into labor! I think it was the pushing out gas & explosives that started the contractions.

  111. Michael Says:

    I recently baked these excellent oat bars with apricot filling (made from a tub of dried apricots). I’ve been eating them for breakfast every morning. After day 3 of being extremely REGULAR and non-stop farting in the afternoons, I googled ‘do dried apricot cause gas.’ This was the first site that came up, and well, sure enough, apricots do make you fart. People have been coming into my office all day, so I have to keep leaving my office to fart. Luckily the washroom is just across the hall.

    Power to the dried apricot!

  112. Kirsten Mallory Says:

    I could NOT figure out why I’ve had such terrible gas this week. It’s Friday and this morning I had an explosion that included diarrhea. I’m a teacher and was in class. This was a very long unpleasant day as I had no way of changing. All this week I’ve packed dried apricots in my lunches. I love them – or I used to! So after the kids were gone, I searched the internet and found all these people who know exactly how I feel. Don’t you just love the internet. NO MORE DRIED APRICOTS!

    • Sally Says:

      Kirsten, All I can say is poor you and ditto!, I needed a change of delicates that day it happened too! Luckily it was nearly the end of the day when my “accident” occurred and I was able to nip out to M&S for a pair of fresh knicks!

      Sally
      x

  113. Kathie Says:

    Oh thank goodness for this thread. I ate 5 dried apricots yesterday, and scolded my poor husband for eating too many at the time as well! Today I awoke to diahorrea, and have had several doses since. I do not feel sick as such, so those juicy, irresistable dried apricots have been blamed. Who would of thought a mere 5 could create such havoc? Interestingly hubby who consumed twice as much has been spared sitting endlessly on the great white throne!

  114. Hannah Says:

    This is priceless! I forgot that dried apricots have this charming side effect until I had 10 or so today at work. I’m a teacher and towards the end of the day it was getting really hard to hold in the farts when I was with the kids.

    I loved reading all the gruesome stories. I still have a large pack of apricots, but I think I’ll limit myself!

    Weirdly, the reason I bought the apricots was because I’d shared some with a friend the day before, with no ill effects. I bought rehydrated ones, though, which might have been the problem.

  115. Harriet Says:

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one with apricot issues.
    I ate a load of apricots at about 5 o’clock, and it is now half 12, and I’m still not rid of them!

  116. LongCarTrip Says:

    Oh dear

    If only I had known this, I could have saved myself the suffering!

    I visited my parents this week and noticed a tub of dried apricots sitting on the counter. They are a “nostalgia” food for me, as my Mom used to give them to me for a snack when I was a kid. (I wonder why I never noticed the effects then. The shamelesness of youth, maybe?)

    Well, I’ve been eating a few apricots every time I enter the kitchen all week, and all week I’ve been wondering why I’m so gassy.

    Well, I got a ride home today with a friend of my Mom’s; a lovely lady whom I’d just met. An hour into the three hour trip, I started munching some apricots that I’d put in my purse. An hour after that, I felt like I was riding a few centimetres above the seat of the car, madly clenching my bum to keep from releasing what I knew would be a deadly fart into the confined space of the car.

    Arrived home and spent the next few hours in agony, both from the twisting stomach cramps and the unbearable smell.

    I am a Catholic, and I know I won’t make it to Church tomorrow, so I needed to go tonight. About an hour and a half before Mass started, I was contemplating whether loud, offensive wind was a valid reason to miss Mass.

    I did end up going to Church. I got most of my gas passed on the way there, and the few times I did have a go in Church, they were smaller and much less stinky.

    No more dried ‘cots for me! I should call my parents and my sister and warn them.

  117. Sam Says:

    just ate 125 grams of dried apricots.. let the fun begin!

  118. Steve Says:

    I have been suffering from dreadful flatulence today and noticed that my wife was also breaking wind very frequently and I said to her it must be the dried apricots that we had consumed. I googled dried apricots and flatulence and arrived at this site. I checked the packet and it states that the apricots were packed and distributed by a company called Humdinger which is a very appropriate name. I think there should be a flatulence warning put on the packets because its the worst flatulence I have ever had in my life.

  119. Exhausted Says:

    I had a bag of dried apricots around 11am this morning, trying to be healthy and really enjoyed them! However, around half an hour later my stomach started slowly swelling up like a balloon, so much so I thought the zip on my jeans might burst. For the rest of the afternoon Beelzebub borrowed my bowels and I was in gut-twisting pain. I kept having to run to the toilets at work where I was spending a good ten minutes at a time emitting the kind of farts usually reserved for wild hogs. And the noise! A TVR revving is quieter. On the bus on the way home, still in pain, I decided to Google ‘apricots and gas’ on my iPhone and ended up here. I was almost crying laughing on the bus over the stories here and felt compelled to share my own. It is now 9pm and the gas pains and farts (yes, and sharts) have just about subsided, not before time. Ban the ‘cot!

  120. Rick Says:

    Oh…it isn’t just dried apricots. It is pretty much dried anything.

    It started when I would dry organic unsulfured pears from my pear tree. I’d snack on those at work, and within a half-hour I’d be serenading my co-workers with my anus orchestra. But having no shame, I would still eat them occasionally.
    I don’t have any more dried pears, but this morning I snacked on raisins for breakfast. Same deal! Wow!
    Unfortunatly I have a cushioned chair, so every fart is a mini dutch oven in the chair, concentrating the smell, sticking to everything. Now I smell bad.
    So while the storm may be over, I’m still enjoying the after effects of my raisins.

  121. Caroline Says:

    Dried apricots have been referred to as “fart biscuits” for years among our family members, who have been known to have contests to see who could eat the most apricots and create the most noxious fumes (what large families do for fun….). I had no idea that the little jewels had the same effect on everyone else!!!

  122. Melanie Says:

    I know that dried apricots give me gas every time I eat them and I still have them in my office – upper drawer, left side. Luckily I have my own office, hold in farts and go to the bathroom frequently to release them. I love them but I am sure could be named “stinker of the week” and for a female that is not very flattering. When I have apricot farts at home and my husband comes into the room and falls back out of it – I blame it on our old Mastiff – sorry girl.

  123. tea Says:

    I’m laughing so hard right now, these comments really are priceless – my stomach hurts and the gas is incredible. After eating a whole bag of these little suckers, unaware of the aftermath, my hopes of the smell not permeating every inch of the apartment post-reoccurring gas explosion are waning. Thank goodness that the bathroom are close.

  124. classy Says:

    haha note to self reading comments such as these while letting rip due to 1/4 bag of apricots DANGEROUS!!!! I am laughing my pants off not that this wasn’t already happening….apricots i hate you!!!! poor suckers we are for attempting going healthy and then this arrrgggghhhh =p ohh gotta go ciao

  125. super anonymous Says:

    In high school, I was touring Europe with a choir. Somewhere along the trip, I didn’t really like what we were served for lunch, so I ate a big bag of dried apricots as my lunch.

    At the choir’s performance that night, I literally had to run offstage in the middle of a song rather than shit my pants in front of the audience. I finally found a bathroom just before experiencing such bad diarrhea I thought I had the ebola virus or something! Luckily one of our tour chaperones was a nurse and she told me what had caused it. Holy lord was that embarrassing.

  126. bobby Says:

    I was sweating bullets sitting on the can after eating about 5 dried apricots!! It was a massacre in my arse!
    The stench was incredible!
    They smelled like rotten eggs!

  127. Eh Says:

    Someone told me these would help make my poop less sticky and more firm, so I searched and found this. Thanks for the warning! I went and bought some unsulphured ones, anyway, from Trader Joe’s. I’ve only eaten 3, and nothing’s happening so far. We’ll see…

  128. BZ Says:

    I googled about this and am glad I’m not the only one these delicious but apparently nauseous glas inducing snacks hit with this problem. Today is the first time this has happened to me. I ate a dozen or so of dried apricots at 7:30 this morning, it is now almost 4 pm and I have had to go to the bathroom I don’t know how many time to relieve this gas. My stomache has been rolling all day! Worst of all, I am in a cubicle surrounded by other people and am trying to train a new employee. Never again….I have learned my lesson

  129. Distressed Says:

    Oh my GOSH!.. I ate a whole jar of dried apricots at around 1 in the morning and woke my self up around 7 at the sheer vibrations of my own gas. I have to pick up my girl friend from the airport in a few hours. We are definatly not at that point in our relationship that its cool to fart around her but I cant go 50 feet from a toilet with out running back to it. Does anyone know how long this is going to last?!?!

  130. kevin Says:

    hahahahaha. i bought a whole grand bag of dried prunes and apricots from bulk barn to bring with me on the long drive to toronto to visit my aunt and uncle. I’ve munched on them the whole drive. This morning I thought I had to take a dump only to find that I was pushing out surprisingly long exhaling, heralding volumes of air…………….It is so pungent.

  131. Lee Says:

    I wish I had gas right now, did earlier, but now my stomach is turning and paining like there’s some alien is in there; I’m hoping something will exit some where to end this. I tried vomitting but no go, drank lots of water. I’m almost afraid of what’s going to come out though, might be like that Stephin King movie I saw. I’m in a remote work camp and share a bathroom with adjoining neighbor and worry I’m going to keep him up, got a really early shift.
    Maybe if I devise a tube , perform an enima on myself (even though I’ve never had one) I’m despirate though.
    But even though this is painful, especially when I laugh, I’m glad for this AA session, I just need a sponser now, someone to hold my hand when I need to let it out.

  132. Chris Says:

    Thanks for sharing all your great stories! Google is your friend. Though I had to enlarge the text to read through the tears of laughter. :-)

    My wife has been giving me dried apricots as a filler snack for my 30 mile morning bike rides. Thankfully it’s mostly quiet rural lanes so being “jet propelled” isn’t so bad. I do get a few odd looks from the horses and ponies I pass.

    It’s the waiting in supermarket queues, midway, to buy a few items before heading home….. Even if I can reduce the noise levels to a safe blast radius the smell is straight from the sewers of Hades!

    I think the dark, organic fruits are actually worse than the bright orange sulphur bombs! Let’s be careful out there, fellow AAs! ;-)

  133. Rosie Says:

    I just googled the effects of dried apricots as i have just eaten about 10-15. I have really bad gripes in my tummy now. I came across this [age and am so glad I did as I have not laughed so hard in such a long time like this on my own..
    So fuuny some of the comments are.

  134. Dave Says:

    Wow, just Googled why these little devils are my “forbidden fruit”….here’s my story:

    Many’s the time where I’ve indulged in dried fruit, especially these beautiful, golden apricots. They are my favourite, delicious little beasts.

    However, I am well aware of the consequences of overindulging, so I often catch myself lovingly caressing a packet of dried apricots at the supermarket, but just before the checkout, I remind myself how Picasso must’ve been inspired.

    Staying in the Middle East through Ramadan, the breaking of the fast as the sun sets is celebrated by partaking of…..wait for it….dried apricots! Hmmm, I had a few yesterday and no effect. So I decide to buy a pack. I had a few of these beauties this morning with my brekkie, and…..nothing!

    Great, so I get home this evening and tuck into the pack with relish. Must’ve been a half hour before the first toilet call….nothing spectacular, everything normal. Sitting and watching telly and the rumble started. I almost sharted before burying my bum in the loo and creating an artwork Picasso would’ve been proud of. What relief…..

    Constipation be damned, the golden fruit beats prunes any day, trousers down……

    • Dave Says:

      OMG, visit #5 to the WC, and I now have a veritable art collection….maybe I could exhibit at the “Loo-vre” :-)

  135. Becky Says:

    Oh my gosh, you guys are so funny! I received a bag of Mariani Mixed Dried Fruit (Sugar Free) as a gift – oh my, what a gift! I was a bit hungry at work so snacked on them mid-morning. That afternoon the incredible gasiness started. And then after a couple of trips to the toilet, I think that everything that was inside of me came out! After that, no more problems. I left the bag out in the main area for my co-workers to eat as I just don’t think I can go through that experience again. That wasn’t very nice of me to give those to my co-workers though, was it? I thought it was just me, but after reading this I know it’s not just me!

    I do have to say that I think it is the sulfur dioxide and the “Natural Flavoring” that I saw on the ingredient list that did the job. I have eaten lots of dried fruit in my day, but usually buy the un-sulfured, organic kind and I have never had a problem like this before!

    Thank you so much for the laughs! I’m saving this page as one of my favorites! HAHA!!

  136. kristy Says:

    i love dried apricots but they can become quite costly so i bought one of those jumbo bags for myself. bad idea. when doing your work, sitting at the desk, and having the bag right there… its hard to resist. its heavenly in the short term but it doesnt last. its like my stomach fills with bubbles every minute and then comes that silent but deadly stench, much to the disgust of my family with my brother claiming “it smells like a fart bomb.” after reading this i am certain that i will resist even looking at those nasty apricots again. im sure i should be sticking to more healthy substitutes.

  137. Krista Says:

    I am so happy I found this blog. I’ve been farting in my work office the whole week after eating tons of dried apricots, and living in fear that some unsuspecting soul would walk into one of my many toxic fart clouds. Thanks for the laughs – after reading these stories, I not only know what the culprit was, but I am definitely in a better mood. Beware the delicious dried apricots…BEWARE.

    • Dave Says:

      Scary, I grew up thinking that girls don’t fart! These little apricot beasties certainly cracked that myth….enjoy :-)

  138. Hanie Says:

    I google ‘apricots cause gas’ and found this! I haven’t had such a good laugh through reading for some time already! I’m worried to go to school tomorrow but I have exams!

  139. Tone Says:

    LOVING THIS PLACE! (Sniff!) I’m not much of a blogger but when I found this treasure-trove of gaseous comedy I had to chip in my 2p.

    I think today’s the day I’ve had my last prunes and dried apricots. I’ve been eating them all this year in an attempt to eat more healthily but didn’t even consider that eating a high amount in one sitting of those angelically sweet little buggers have caused so many orgies for my gut flora and so much disdain and for my workmates, friends, family and girlfriend. D’oh.

    On one particular day my gas was actually beating the negative pressure in the lab where I work and asphyxiating my colleague upstream (just one at the time, thankfully). Perhaps the place needs smoke-testing. That was truly the most soul-stirring sulphur stench I had ever produced in an 8-hour working day.

    For anyone currently in the throes of mid-dried fruit digestion I might advise a full colonic at the earliest opportunity.

    O sweet apricot (phrrrp), how canst I break your (phrp) loving hold on me? Must thou forever cause me such (phrrrrrrrrrp) loneliness from gaiety. Or must one leave you, forever, never to pass these wanting lips, again (PPHHHHHHHRRRRRPPPPHHRP)?

    Or one could just be sensible and have ONE at a time. (Okay maybe two).

    Crap, I think I’ve just pooed.

  140. olivia Says:

    Haha i can’t believe I googled “do apricots give you gas” and i found this. as i’m writing this i feel a huge fart coming. i guess this is what i get for eating half the bag of dried apricots in the kitchen at work that were for the kids that attend the after school program..

  141. The Stink King Says:

    So the other day I made the mistake of destroying a whole bag of cots after lunch. These little orange delectable morsels were the devil in disguise. It wasn’t long before my intestines began to violently spasm and my waste line increase as a gaseous stink filled my innards. I tried to hold it, not to offend others, but it got to a point where I could hold it no longer. What happened next was the most pressurized fart I’ve ever let out. It came out with a loud hiss, and a heat that I’ve never felt before. At that point I realized it was going to do damage. It smelled like pure sulfur with a hint of chili. For hours I found myself erupting every few minutes. The farts were vaporized feces that made my butt begin to itch like chimpanzee. I hadn’t even pooped and my butt felt itchy and raw like I didn’t get a good wipe. Horrible. Moral of the story, enjoy cots in moderation.

  142. Anti-Apricot Says:

    NEVER AGAIN! Ate about a dozen of these.. and just like many of you was trying to find something to snack on that’s healthy instead of chips or something.

    And like many of you, I work in a cubicle environment. NOT GOOD!

    If you are stumbling upon this in the middle of the day, just tell the boss you are not feeling well and take the rest of the day off.

  143. Tig Says:

    I’m absolutely cracking up. This is hilarious!

    I just had about ten dried apricots after dinner, before going out for drive with my girlfriend. It’s freezing here at the moment, but I had to keep opening the window to let my guffs out on the sly. She thought I was being odd, and went straight to bed as soon as we got home. I can’t face her in this state. I’m standed on the sofa. Stinking.

    I’ve never had this before with apricots. But I have had it before with Advocados.

    Good luck! x

  144. Tigger Says:

    Oh My goodness!!! I am doing some revision and I thought HEALTHY SNACK and I ate some Apricots. Not just some. 500g to be precise! I then started feeling dizzy and a little sick, so I typed in to google, ‘can I die if I eat too many Apricots’ and sadly I wish you could. I will now experience what you have all experienced and I am not looking forward to it!

  145. Mic Says:

    Lmao! I don’t know if other dried fruit does the same as dried apricot, but I found a bag at costco and thought why the hell not. I ate just a few pieces a day for like a week, and ate more and more everyday. I snuck off to the bathroom yesterday in the gym. No one was there and I let em rip. One of my friends walked in and nearly started crying. I said “I know, i think someone just took a crap.” He growled out a “ya think!!” They’re just not worth it. It’s been two days and my system’s still working it off.

  146. What the A? Says:

    Apricots and almonds, what a great and healthy snack! Right? Wrong!!! F-ing wrong! I just about exploded in the office yesterday and now today because of (what I now know is) the apricot factor. I actually had to leave the building twice because the thin walls of the office bathroom were in no way enough to hold back the sonic “BOOOOOOOOOM!!!” of my apricot farts. “BLLAAAAAAAAAMMMMM! It’s like a car- load of circus people are f-ing around in my stomach and shooting each other back and forth. Thanksfully I came across this site and have now thrown away the package of dried apricots on my desk.

  147. Sarah Says:

    Holy fart buckets!!! I have never had gas or shit like this before…I can’t stop eating them either!!! Within about an hour of eating them, I am either pooping, or farting out sewer gas farts. Is it the sulphur in the dried apricots, or just the apricot itself?? I have eated fresh undried ones before and this has never happened??

  148. Jane Says:

    This site cracks me up and I am soooo glad I found It! I’ve been eating dried apricots all week. To be frank, I have been pinching by butt checks together all week at work trying not to pass gassssss. LOL My co-workers have been looking at me weird and my stomach has been making these loud awful noises. I have been wondering ALL week what is wrong with me and my gut. I dismissed the apricots because I’ve had them before and don’t remember this. How could apricots cause this many issues…………I thought to myself. Thinking that I may be pregnant, I even took a pregnancy test!!! Too funny. Thanks for sharing all of your comments – hilarious!

  149. Nothing silent about these Says:

    My my my. I was beginning to think that the mega dose of wine I drank over the New Year holiday was remnant in my system and suddenly working its way out in the most noxious of ways. Guess not. I finally realized within 30 minutes of eating about 10-12 apricots that today was going to be a major blast and I do mean MAJOR BLAST! Ugh…it ain’t the wine, it ain’t the oatmeal, it’s those damned apricots! I am so grateful for your candor! I can’t wait to donate the remainder of my 1 pound tin of apricots to some unsuspecting colleague! What a drag though, my early poll tells me no one is interested. How long must I (and the poor unsuspecting people who walk into my office!)endure this?? Make it stop!!

    I must thank all of you again, I shed tears of laughter reading your comments. Thank heaven I’ve not left a deposit in my trousers…better check! (Although I think our little bathroom may never be the same…)

  150. Roby Says:

    Well, well, well, I also googled today! LOL to come across this site…love it. AND so glad I’m not alone! Thanks for the laughs and reassurance! Nice to find so many people out there still with a sense of humour. Keep the smile on your dials.

  151. sarah Says:

    I have asked around and some people get the gas and shitters, and some dont. Want to have some real fun?? eat a couple Fiber One bars!!! I ate one lastnight on a dare from my sister and when I farted this morning it wasn’t a dry fart….yes…at 40 years old, I SHIT MY PANTS!!!! I called my sister to thank her and tell her the news…do NOT eat Fiber One bars either….the gas is not as noxious as the apricots, but the farts just may be a bit more wet, lol!!

  152. Dawn Says:

    This is the funniest thing that I have ever read on the internet. LOL! Thank you everyone. I especially like Chris’ post in 2006. I have never read anything funnier! I think dried figs are a problem too.

  153. barth Says:

    I’ve been in NM for the past week, eating really good mexican food but have had minor expected consequences. Anyway, I thought I needed a more healthy meal tonight and picked up a bag of mixed greens, 2 apples, mixed nuts, and a bag of dried apricots. I think I only ate 4 or 5 of these things before I googled “effects of eating too many apricots.” Surprised this non-scientific post showed up at the top, but humored by the posts and appreciative of the warning.


  154. I decided to take the glove off and document the effects of dried apricots on me. Don’t get me wrong, the stories are awesome, but there’s nothing like seeing (or hearing) for oneself!

    I don’t think anyone can top me (I passed gas like 70 times in 3 hours), but you can at least try!

  155. Sydney Says:

    WOW! What a site! Try being a school teacher and having dried apricots during recess. The effect was almost instant. I went off to teach my next class and settled the students so we could read our class novel. Once we started I began feeling my stomach churn- not in that upset/vomit sort of way, but in a very low intestinal way. It was lower than my belly button. Reading the novel was so awkward, I kept clenching and re-positioning myself in my chair in order to prevent gas from coming out. I ‘popped’ out of the classroom without notice while the kids were taqking notes and god damn near shat my pants. What a fart, it was like my rectum had become a brass instument in an orchestra. I enjoyed it- I’d never had so much power down there, but at the same time a feeling of anxiousness joined the fart-factory feeling of my lower intestines as I knew things were uncontrollabe. I stepped out of the class two more times to expel what seemed like weeks’ worth of gas. Suprisingly (in relation to other posts) the offerings didn’t smell. Drawing a line back through previous posts, I too was that guy on the train and bus on the way home. Thank God they didn’t stink! I had to duck into the toilet in the train station as the explosive “fire-hose” diarrhea came into play. I decided I was “over it” when I got home and that I would try to go to the gym. The gym is right next door to my house and upon leaving I was struck by an immediate and intense urge to go to the toilet. I thought I would save my housemates and use the toilets at the gym. Upon arrival the cubicals were full and it took an inner strength that I didn’t know I had to stop from shitting my pants. Home now, and 7 hours after the consumption, the gas has been cnstant, but the toilet trips are lessening. With no exaggeration I can estimate I’ve produces in excess of 100 farts this afternoon.
    Great posts!
    Ben

  156. Tara Says:

    OMG…This is hilarious. I too have had terrible gas and intestinal pain from too many dried apricots. The first time I ate about 20 of them and about an hour later had the most horrendous gas EVER while at work. I was extremely grateful for the air freshener in the bathroom. The next day, not realizing that it was the apricots that caused it the first day, the same thing happened as well as day three, which was the worst day of them all. Okay so apparently I don’t learn after the first time and as I was packing my lunch for tomorrow I thought I should google “eating too many dried apricots” and I came across this site. I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my face. I don’t think I’ll pack any for lunch tomorrow.

  157. Thomas Says:

    I bought some today because I know they’re super healthy and three of them count as one of your five a day, BUT DEAR JESUS… I had about half the bag a couple of hours ago. My stomach is talking to itself and I’ve just done the most horrendous poo/slime/something in the toilet after an hour of particularly peculiar farting. Oh my…. it’s just not right. It best go away. It’s quarter to one and I have to be in work for 9. Just glad to see I’m not alone in this disgraceful shame haha :D

  158. charlotte Says:

    oh my god, this site has had me sobbing with laughter.

    my tale began this morning, when I ate ten dried apricots sprinkled on top of a salad. It’s fine, thought I. The lettuce will soak up the fibre. (This is why I am not a scientist, guys.)

    IT WASN’T FINE. I was out for a walk a few hours later when I felt the first diarrhea clenches, and through sheer force of will managed to get home without shitting myself. AN HOUR. IT TOOK OVER AN HOUR TO WALK HOME. I have never been so alarmed at my own body and I hope to god I won’t have to ask the question “Will I make it home before I shit everywhere” ever again. Good God.

    • Janice Says:

      Charlotte you must have “buns of steel” goodness know how you escaped with your dignity intact, I was far less lucky!

      Those diarrhoea clnches are what got me eventually a little pressue release cost me a nice set of smalls! Made it home for the “big” event but those iquifying demons left their mark!

      OMG!, thank goodness for the current fashion in shortie style panties!

  159. Marnie Says:

    So it was the apricots! I thought I would die and my family thought they were going with me. My husband recorded me in my sleep. I thought it was prunes or dates the apricots seemed so innocent. What kind of apricots are you all eating?

  160. Bones Says:

    Ahh, the fabulous dance that our bowels do(doo). I admit that I am not a fan of apricots. never have been. However, I can completely relate to the outcome of what they do. I seem to have the worst digestive track of anyone I know. I hide it well enough, but there are times… when I worry that I’ll make it. Granted, I don’t have the best diet in the world. I must impart of all of you my visual description of what these explosive moments are to me. I personally like to call it “Bum Cough”. Not a phrase that I made up, actually, it is from a good friend of mine, who is a guitarist from a well known canadian goth rock bank from the 90’s. Let’s just say he has done it all.. and after weeks on the road, with booze, drugs, bad food, late nights, little sleep… the body goes into a full out revolt. yes, Bum Cough is the result. I am going to spare you all the visual details. I think enough has been shared on that front already!

  161. Bones Says:

    Ok. My good friend just mentioned to me that there are fig stories on here.. well, I’ve got one of those… Can’t remember how old I was, but, before driving back to Boston from Maine with the family, i decided to polish off a whole bag a fig newtons to myself. So tasty. Such a huge mistake! What transpired about an hour into the drive was nothing less that a shit assult on the highway. At first, they wouldnt pull over, and it became uncontrollable. They had me crapping into a suitcase. Who does that to their kid??? Eventually, they let me out at the side of the road, where I am sure I killed a decent amount of plant life. And then back in the car I went. And Im quite sure it didnt end there. All I know, is the from that point on, I never eat more than one or two of them at a time. Ever! Yuck.

  162. Bones Says:

    Lol.. well, i seem to remember it was not.

  163. Pizza Hut Says:

    Thank you all so much for your hilarious stories. I’ve been in pain all day, and about to head to work. I’m hoping the worst is over but am trying to keep my fingers and butt cheeks crossed, otherwise it will be a long shift.

  164. Bugle Bum Says:

    I’m currently on Jenny Craig and included in the food plan is dried apricots, which I haven’t touched for years, due to the memory of getting mega farts, but I don’t remember diarrhoea back then though. Anyhoo as above, on Jenny Craig eating my dried apricots and three hours later I’m in the bogger so far 4 times with the dried apricot runs/squirts/horrors. I so hate nasty dried apricots now. But thanks so much for the laughs of this great thread albeit because of everyone’s dried apricot miseries!

  165. Mel-vin. Says:

    losing weight, in gas…

  166. Bee Says:

    I will never eat those damm Apricots, I was enjoying them AND THEN i heard noise and earthquake in my stomake ..Sad Part i work in a call center .keep in mind i have to follow break and lunch schedule …I TOOK SEVERAL PERSONALS!!!

  167. John Says:

    I thought that fresh apricots would be safe. How wrong I was. How horribly, horribly wrong. The only difference is that the dried ones seem to work in an hour or two and the fresh ones take ten to twelve hours to make Hell on Earth.

    I’m on day three of this experiment, so it’s not a fluke.

  168. Sarah Says:

    Well isn;t that just the poop!!!..I am very lucky I have not gotten the toots or squirts from fresh cots!!

  169. Renae Says:

    Laughing my ass off at these comments right now ! Haven’t laughed so hard that it made me cry in a long time. I thought something was wrong with me until I realized I had eaten dried apricots 2 days in a row approx 10 each round. OMG I thought I had a hot rocket attached to my ass & I was gonna take off. For once I actually woke my husband & the dog up last night with this horrible smell / sound. I’m surprised he didn’t ask for a divorce this morning after 20 years :)

  170. shygirl13 Says:

    Recently had a very unfortunate incident with the delicious little devils. I’m a nurse, and a grateful patient’s family had given me dried apricots as a thankyou present. Not really thinking, I snacked on them on the way home, as traffic was hideous and I was starving. Before I even got through the door, my stomach was in knots and before long I was running to the bathroom, a lot. I’m really small and petite, so my stomach became really swollen. To make matters worse, that night, my bf was coming home after 2 months working overseas, so I was pretty upset with these damn apricots. I opened the door for him (after three showers), smelly, tired and looking what I’m sure was absolutely fricken stunning. No joke, his first words to me were “sweetie, is there something you need to tell me?” Ugh. No, Hun, I’m not 5 months pregnant, I just look it. Needless to say, it wasn’t exactly the reunion we had planned.

  171. Lozz Says:

    Such fantastic stories. This has just stopped me from eating my Dried apricot snack at work, especially when I need to go get an intimate wax in about an hour. That could have been disasterous.

  172. Usually so very careful! Says:

    John above mentioned fresh apricots – and I shall add tinned apricots to the list. They all do it! None are safe!

    I, too, thought I was the only one who suffers. I was even beginning to think it was an allergy. But what allergy causes uncontrollable gas? That ‘smells bad’ as Ludo says in Labryinth (though that is a massive understatement! There are no words to describe the stench adequately!)

    Anyway I have known for years that I simply cannot afford to indulge in these yummy treats for the smell issue (when I do I make sure that I am going to be alone for the next day and a half). Thank god I don’t have the whole toilet issue as well!!!!

    So being very careful, I don’t touch them. Well I was halfway through a fruit puff, that the teacher at work made for a demonstration to her students before they cooked the same thing – with a variety of fresh and canned fruit,when I realised that she had made the one I picked with tinned apricot. Second mouthful in the teacher, whose fault it all was, remarked that she was after the apricot one since she loves them. And all I could think was that her request was sadly too late…

    Too late for us all!

    My other colleague who knows me and apricots well sat and cringed in her seat. And I must admit, I was cringing too and praying that tinned wouldn’t be as evil.

    I was sooooo wrong!

    By the time lunch was over I was regretting it and was doing my best to keep my misery to myself without inflicting it on all the poor kids and teachers cooking that afternoon (mostly succeeding cos the worst came that night and into the next day)

    The next day was even worse and I have never been so grateful to be the only one in work until after lunch on that day. No one was any the wiser about the foul smells coming from my general vicinity.

    I can’t even eat one! And it’s not about the added fibre either since I eat plenty of that and a little extra isn’t going to be that much of an issue.

    Sole culprit is the lovely apricot, in all its forms! *sigh* Just wish they weren’t so yummy and addictive!

    So for some of us restraint isn’t going to work – even one of these little blighters will do it. Sulphur or non-sulphered is also not going to help. Nor is resorting to tinned or fresh.

    That being said, I do have a small ray of hope: pluots. They are a mix of the dreaded, evil fruit and plums and they haven’t got the side-effect of the stink (for me anyway).

    Bright side is – I no longer think I am odd. No one else I know suffers from this. But I am blessedly not alone! Yay!

  173. Shantly Says:

    After eating dried apricots, I released such an explosive gas, that it actually echoed off the nearby (3/4 mile away) hills! I would never have believed that a person could pass gas loudly enough to cause an echo!


  174. Came for the blog post, stayed for the hall-of-fame comments.

  175. keith Says:

    Am I glad I found this blog !! As a bowel cancer survivor , I have to regulate my diet very carefully -even then the system rebels against any diet after a while- and i thought I ‘d found just the thing in dried apricots to regulate my system .I now know why I,m getting more frequent and more explosive B.M.s .Shame that , I really enjoy those apricots!! Many thanks to all the contributors

  176. greyenBrett Says:

    I’m impressed that this forum has been ongoing for 5 years now. Today I ate a large amount of raisins, apricots and goji berries. I definitely think the apricots are contributing most to the frequent flatulence that I’m experiencing. Fortunately I can enjoy this at home rather than being embarrassed at work or some other public setting. I say “enjoy” because farts are always funny. What is it specifically about the apricot? I was reading something about high fructose content. In other news I was also reading that apricots are highly alkaline in the body. If you don’t know what I’m talking about you should research acid/alkaline forming foods and why you should alkalanize your blood.

  177. t Says:

    oh my god! i am at work reading these comments and trying so hard not to laugh out loud, i ate about half a bag of dried fruit today and felt a turtle head, i frantically ran to the restroom popped the window open and BLEW IT UP………AHHHHHH much better!!! never again will i be eating dried fruit at work.

  178. Ash Says:

    I too decided to pick up a healthy snack while grocery shopping the other day. I opened the bag of dried apricots yesterday and within 30 min my belly started making funny noises which eventually led to gas, followed by some more gas, and then even more gas. It’s crazy because as soon as I relieve my self of a little bit of gas here comes the next round, followed by the next, and the next. It doesn’t end! But it certainly makes me feel better that I’m not the only one. lol

  179. FrannazM Says:

    Well, after 10 years I have finally found that I am not alone in my “reaction” to dried apricots. I love them, but ten years ago had to give them up as I was working in a public library and the smell from my farts was detrimental to the health of all the poor readers who came into contact with me. My husband was so appalled he thought I could be fed dried apricots and flown over to Iraq as the UK’s Weapon of Mass Destruction.
    So I gave them up…until yesterday when I had about 6. And yes, I farted at home and my husband was gagging and complaining. He says the smell is really thick and sticks to the inside of his nostrils. Me? I can’t smell so good but that was from my library years of eating apricots and cherries. I think I damaged my own smell sensors!

    Super funny posts though!

  180. sophie Says:

    I love this thread ;-)

    BUT is there any dried fruit I CAN eat without have the bottom belchers?!

  181. Dookie Says:

    Ate some dried apricots this morning and feel like Big Sur has relocated to my stomach as I write this. I think Debussy may have written La Mer after eating dried apricots. I hope my stomach enzymes enjoy surfing, because they’re riding on some killer waves right now. On the upside, I positively hate the things and was only eating them because they’re supposed to be healthy. Now I have a legitimate excuse not to eat them.

  182. Dookie Says:

    It also has occurred to me that we may have inadvertently stumbled upon the solution to the world energy crisis. I wonder if cap-and-trade should be applied to my bowels.

  183. Holy Crap Says:

    I have been eating apricots for the last week…. in massive quantities… ….. like…. obscene quantities….

    I am at work, and just returned from the washroom.

    and I can tell you that I just gave birth to the devil’s minion goblin child as the sound that came out of me was not of this world.

  184. donow Says:

    It started in the gym today. I had eaten lots of Trader Joe’s turkish apricots yesterday – delicious. I had eaten lots of them along with their unholy cousin the dried figs. After an hour on the stationary bike I decided to finish of my workout with a run on the treadmill.

    I started to notice that I needed to release short bursts of gas about every 30 seconds. The first couple I let slip thinking that would be it. I soon realized I needed a strategy as these babys were not stopping. At first I would wait up to a minute to try and consolidate the releases. I had headphones on so I was unsure if I was making an ugly display with my cheek-music.

    I looked carefully around my treadmill from person to person and upon seeing they all had headphones on as well I gave myself license to fire at will. Luckily there was no associated odor, yet.

    Later in the day while volunteering at my kids school I let another one slip thinking it would be of the same variety. To my utter horror the release was of a nature it likely would have caused any animal of the wild to reel backwards in shock and dismay. Luckily the room was nearly empty and I could use some of the kids large craft projects to fan the air around me in the desperate hope I would not be held accountable for this toxic emission.

    I made it home a proceeded to spend most of the afternoon ripping ghastly farts so bad I actually felt the need to smell so as to discern from whence they may have been born. By the time dinner rolled around I was reduced to having to go outside to toot. Naturally a full 30 second patting of my trousers was required to ensure the deadly fumes did not follow me inside.

    Later that evening my ten year old and I were wrestling on the couch and he made the mistake of farting at me.
    He would soon learn the folly of his challenge as I released a deliberate and restrained amount of my mustard gas in his direction – he literally ran away. In his retreat he managed to pull the fumes along with him into the hallway 15 feet away where my spouse was. Normally I am pretty good at blaming my farts on the dog or the kids but this time my denial was met with a look of utter disbelief as my dear wife correctly surmised that no such unearthly stench could emanate from a ten year old. I was busted dead to rights.

    Now I sit typing, laughing at the shared misery of my fellow apricot eaters. May this night of horrors end sooner rather than later…

  185. yinbin Says:

    When I prepared for my colonoscopy in 2009 (was 27 years old), I had to go through a cleansing process the night before. I had to drink a huge amount of liquid laxatives, the result of which being that for the ENTIRE NIGHT I was in the bathroom, having the most violent diarrhea of my life. After several bouts, my anus was painful and swollen and yet the watery bowel continued unrelentingly. The diarrhea continued until the procedure itself (afternoon of the next day). Imagine what a painful state I was in.

    I swore that I would never have another of this, under any circumstances.

    And I didn’t, until yesterday, after eating about 10 dried apricots. I was in the bathroom till 4 a.m., with violent and unstoppable diarrhea, despite taking 3 Imodium pills. My anus was again painfully sore and swollen. I began to wonder what could be the cause of it. At one point I thought that perhaps my neighbor sneaked into my apartment and put laxatives in my drinking water (I’d complained about noise from the neighbor’s apartment).

    After some googling I came to this site. I wish I could laugh about this as many people did. But I was only filled with indescribable outrage. After learning the apricot was the culprit, I stomped on the the container of apricots and threw it in the trash.

    Why is there no warning label on the container if the laxative effect is well known? Should we sue the manufactures for negligence?

  186. Tamara Says:

    Just ate a bunch of dried mangoes and I’m wearing velour pants. My rolling farts sound like a hundred mitten wearing midgets applauding.

  187. Pamela Says:

    I laughed myself hollow reading these posts but it isn’t so funny when you’re in the thick of it. I know damned well what they do but I was baking today and pinched three. Just three! They were lovely but I’ve had to turn the plug-ins up because of the heavy farting. There’s no gaviscon or anything in the house and I’m actually exhausted from it now. Learn people!

  188. Ravenoff Says:

    No wonder why middle easterners keep the windows open all the time – they’d blow the damn walls down otherwise. Unbelievable – three neighbors heard me. Glad I found this site to rant on.

    Apparently, apricots are high in sorbitol, which is a sugar alcohol – if you’ve ever had to much candy flavoured with sugar alcohols…

    heh, this thread is nearly 6 years old and still active.

  189. Zac Says:

    I had read that they were good for the heart and eyes…….hahahahahahaha and so I had 50 gms i.e half a bag of them as I had skipped brkfst and then you guys obviously know what happened…..I did not schedule any meetings with my line reports for the day……;-)

  190. Shelley Says:

    I had about 8 of them at 3pm, it’s now 8pm and I’m surprised I haven’t turned myself inside-out with all the farting. Around 4pm my stomach started making peculiar noises, by 4.30pm my gaseous emissions sounded like the cannons in the 1812 overture, and the smell, my god, I had Mexican chicken soup for lunch so you can’t begin to imagine the horror – I thought the wallpaper might start to peel off. Hubby’s home from work now and he’s not impressed with trumpers, so I’m sat on the toilet trying to let them hiss out rather than explode, I’m doing ok apart from the odd shocking blast pathetically ‘disguised’ with a too-late cough. Please let this end before bedtime, never again, I swear :'(

  191. Jessica Says:

    I’m so glad that I found this website because I can’t keep a secret in for long. It started on a beautiful day at haven and I indulged on I don’t know how many apricots. By night time my stomach felt a bit funny so I went to the toilet and had a tremendous poo. When I went back to bed I did loads of farts and had to get up to go to the toilet once more. When I re-entered I opened the bedroom door and the smell that hit me in the face was so bad I thought I was going to faint.

  192. Sarah Wall Says:

    Is there a website with such a long thread as this? Seriously. Going back to 2006!
    I only eat 6 a day and my stomach looks like l’m 3 months pregnant.
    I went to the toilet at work to fart and wondered what the constant noise was whilst sat there pondering and realised it was air coming out of my bottom with no pushing required. Just like when you let air out of a balloon-imagine if l had done that in the office. Oh the shame

  193. Andrea Says:

    That was hilarious reading!! Some light relief after such a gasey day! I bought a kg of organic dried apricots yesterday and made the mistake of letting my 4 year old son (and myself) have unlimited access…my son must have eaten at least 20 (or more) and the poor little dude couldn’t quite make it to the toilet and there was a massive explosion all over the toilet and toilet floor…now I know why and also why I’ve had such nasty farts and diarrhea for the last day too! I ate 6 this morning and I’m still having cramps, gas and diarrhea! Never again!!! ;-)

  194. Annonymous Says:

    I ate a 300g bag of dried apricots this afternoon (30+). What ive been through the last 4 hours in unhumanly. First I noticed my stomach had swelled up like nothing before. Then, I had a bout of gas and diarrohea that filled my toilet. I had to put my shower on to mask the sounds of the godly farts. Whats quite amazing is that the apricots are coming out in chunks. Sometimes I cant fart because the chunks are blocking my anus and I have to clench a few times to try and unblock the plug. Unbelievably, I got to the stage I was deficating out almost whole apricots. But this was nothing compared to the supersonic farts. If someone brought me a rictor scale monitor, I recon I could measure a good 6 or 7. I was trying to fart slowly to minimise any loud noises and I swear to you, I had made a long fart for 50-60sec. I still cant beleive it nor can I stop laughing at these comments.

  195. Sam Says:

    These fart stories transcend time and space. 2006-2012 apricot victims, I had a laugh going through this forum.

    I forgot what they do to you until last night, I had about 12. luckily it was only an extended belly full of gas then one long bout of farts followed by the hell gates unleashed diarrhea… I feel much better now and I think the worst is behind me (or down the toilet).

    I’m glad I can document this for prosperity , great stories everyone :D

    • Brandi Says:

      Lucky to you who were home! I had at least 30 today…then hit the gym with two very new friends. I was in the middle of a body combat class & had to stop jumping jacks as I no longer could hold anything in. I went one row back to where my stuff was and let’s just say I feel awful for the people that were stuck standing there! This is the worst gas. I have not had any other issues as I deal with constipation. So tomorrow we shall see if my new friends still invite me to a class! Oh and the sad part is I was contemplating how many farts I could get away with until they realized I was at fault!

  196. J Says:

    Y’all do realize, that like most of the foods we consume, portion size is key…Eating a whole bag of anything will give you problems in the tummy department. Especially a large bag, which is what it seems like most of you have done. Eating a 2-3 as a small snack between meals doesn’t effect you the same way. You also need to allow your body time to get used to it. Any time you introduce different foods to your diet, especially healthier options, it will most likely make your potty times…interesting.. You do need to watch which dried fruits you eat. Some have added sugar and some will give you gas. But not all dried fruits are evil crap masters. Just don’t eat 20-30 in one day!

  197. MO Says:

    Ate 1/3 of a bag of assorted dry fruits for a snack before my Thermodyamics class. While I was in class my stomach was making the loudest growl ever, everyone staring at me, very embarrassing. So I go to the bathroom and taking a high pressure liquid shit that had a smell that would make you faint. Feeling relieved, I go back to class. Walked in the door and my stomach starts growling again! “Man Im hungry” I jokingly say. 10 minutes later, class is over and I have another class across campus that I have to be on time because the teacher gives quizzes in the first 5 mins of class. I went to pee, and tried to let out a little fart, Big mistake. Suffice to say that I will never be eating dried fruit again! *Opens a bag of dried Apricots*

  198. Kim Says:

    Oh the apricot. I offered some to my 3 year-old as we drove about town. I ate about 10. Only now do I realize that she made the wiser choice. Thank goodness she doesn’t have the language to tell me I’m making the house stink!

  199. James Says:

    Those apricots! I had about 7-10 of them a few hours ago for the first time to help my constipation. Now my stomach keeps making noises and the farts smell awful! My mum nearly passed out when she walked into the bedroom. It’s like the smell is clinging to the walls! My dad can even smell it from downstairs. I have work tomorrow so I hope I don’t crap myself. The shop is quite small as well so when I fart, there will be no where for me to run.

  200. Garuwashi Says:

    After having consumed two thirds of a packet of dried apricots, roughly 150 gr, I started to feel a curious rumbling in my bowels, like the growl of some imprisoned beast. Oblivious to the fact that this might be the silence prior to a perfect shit storm I proceeded to consume the rest of the packet. As I put the final apricot in my mouth I felt what I can only describe as a super spasm of my intestinal pipes. Fearing what would subsequently happen I walked around my apartment in denial. This episode however lasted mere seconds. Intestinal pressure was now at something similar to that of an inflated car tire at 2.5 atmospheres, and pressure was mounting. Despite my fear of inevitable events to come, pure rationale condemned me to prompt my flat mate to put on some loud music to cancel out my intestinal frequencies, and the cries of fear and anguish. I then marched into the bathroom, feeling extremely vulnerable and alone, dropped my pants and planted my traumatised rear on the poor toilet, and just in time. What then happened was an atrocity comparable to genocide and animal cruelty. An explosive chain of intestinal fluctuations compelled me to grab the sink adjacent to my toilet with one hand and brace myself against the wall with the other. What left my body was the embodiment of pure evil and decadence, like I had given birth to the result of Satan him self violating my posterior. Never have I felt so vulnerable and alone. Never has my dignity in such a way literally been flushed down the toilet. This is my story, my account, of an event so vile it scars my very soul.


  201. I googled “does dried fruit cause diarrhea?” before I decided to accuse a specific food chain of some rare (VERY STINKY) food poisoning. Glad I googled. Glad this was the first link I found. This was a VERY hilarious read- and it just got funnier as I read through the comments.


  202. […] Still, 58 dried apricots in two days might not be a trend I should continue. Especially after reading this. […]

  203. jon1 Says:

    I’ve always known that apricots gave me the worst flatulence. Last night, my wife and I were shopping and when I saw those dried apricots, I had to have them. Today, I victimized my coworkers with the raunchiest farts. Luckily, I have not experienced the diarrhea…. yet.

  204. Rich Says:

    I bought a few bags of apricots for work thinking they’d make a nice healthy snack instead of the junk I normally eat. The first bag went down rather well so I scoffed all the bags (x5) in one sitting.

    Soon I started getting these unholy cramps… my guts were noticeably swelling and my belt tightened against the strain. Then I felt the nudge of a little fart. I sit next to my boss and four other coworkers but I though I could leak one out on the sly.

    Raising a crafty cheek I meant to filter it out slowly just in case it was slightly whiffy but suddenly it was like Satan himself had possessed my ringpiece. A massive rank guff trumped off in my skids followed by an even more massive belter that felt like my entire colon had emptied a weeks worth of sour farts in one pump.

    I sat aghast as I could already smell the periphery of a cloud of burning rubber/cheese stench mixed with cat-turd and boiled cabbage. Then the full wave of vile fart gas hit me and I staggered erect and legged it to the gents. All I could hear was a chorus of “Holy s**! What the f*** is that f****** stench???” as I jogged past still trumping in my pants.

    It took 15min for the stink of that one fart to dissipate by which time the whole office had got a lungful and knew my name. There were also some real lookers in the office I quite fancied who even now just look at me in contempt as if I slaughter kittens.

    The farts did not stop for 2hrs or so – I think I filled the whole building with gas… I was going up floors to distribute the stench more evenly on the stairwell. It was then that an unfortunate convection current carried one to the MD’s open door and I was asked to leave the premises on medical grounds.

    Be warned these fruit will destroy your underpants and social life.

  205. Fiset94 Says:

    I had my retina detach from my eye last week and had it repaired via surgery. I have to be face down for the next 3weeks for recovery. If that wasn’t bad enough-

    I am also 4 months pregnant and was informed by my o.b this week that I needed to increase my iron. I decided to add these little harmless fruits to my daily intake.

    Laying here face down In my bed- Iam re-thinking that decision. The fumes are seaping up through the sheets and Making their way to my nose. I deal with the pain and the uncomfortable ness of not even being able to lie in the fetal position to help this pass- but let me tell ya -When the gas stopped-the poop party began.

    I hobbled into the bathroom and did not come out for 45min. I’m sure that I am in for a long night!

    I agree 100 Percent with the warning – Why is there no warning on this bag!!!!

  206. Alison Says:

    Just ate 30 apricots and shit my ass off.

  207. Tippy Says:

    Was going to make a carrot cake and so I bought a bag of Turkish dried apricots along with a bunch of other ingredients. On the train home I thought I’d snack on a few. Well a few became many by the time I got home. Add to that a cup of coffee and a couple of biscuits with cheese. How pleasant! I decided to take a nap on the couch with the cat as I had many late nights this week. A couple og snooze hours later I awoke from strange rumblings within. My tummy seemed to be expanding like a hot air balloon. Weird noises and rippling effects began to motivate me towards the bathroom. I never realized dried apricots could evacuate a whole days food intake in such an aggressive and angry manner. WTF? And now as I sit here calmly, it’s quite obvious from those tell tale belly squeaks, its not over yet!!!! Stay away from those scary fruits, please!

  208. Gemma Says:

    This site is unreal! The “Heal the World” story takes the cake!

    I’ve eaten 3 dried apricots per sitting for years as a way to stave off sweet tooth cravings, after having learned my lesson when I ate an entire box – and went on to rapidly lose 5lbs overnight and startle the dog awake barking continuously through the night!

    Even with just 3 apricots, I get noxious gas with a smell that is distinct to apricots. It is like death incarnate. Finally googled it after all these years to see if it is known phenomenon!

  209. Sara Says:

    I just ate majority of a bag of these little vile suckers. I had barely anything in the house to eat, so I figured, “oh this is healthy”. To my dismay, this proceeded with an onsite of explosive diarrhea. I’m gassy, I cannot even make it to my car to drive to the store, and I don’t know what the hell to do because I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight. This blows… literally :p

  210. Gaseous Guy Says:

    Excellent thread. I ate at least 20 of the little suckers today and right now am paying a hefty price. It started with an unpleasantness in the stomach and has morphed now into something much worse; I am dropping the most vile, unpleasant odours about every 90 seconds. Their regularity and ferocity astound me. If only the trains in my city ran this frequently and this reliably.

  211. claire Says:

    i just have one thing to say: prrrrrrrrt!

  212. Janet Says:

    Omg! I have never laughed so hard in my life. I was sitting her at work eating dried apricots when I started to experience horrible gas and bloating. I googled and here I am! I will never put a dried apricot in my mouth again! Thanks for the laugh!,

  213. Rev T Says:

    Oh THANK GOD God! I was about to call an ambulance! That would have been a good one, I THINK I’M DYING, I MUST HAVE CONTRACTED SOME HORRIBLE DISEASE FROM THESE APRICOTS!!!

  214. Kim Says:

    Oh my God people you’re killing me! As if farting like an arthritic dog and repulsing my husband with my stinky butt wasn’t bad enough, I’ve now woken the baby with my screams of laughter from everyone’s comments. I need to stop reading before I piss my pants or shit myself….

    (I ate 250g of the little buggers about five hours ago – am I going to get any sleep tonight?)

  215. Trish Says:

    I am so glad I’m not alone. My stomach just made a noise that sounded like a baby crying, I’m not even joking.
    The same thing happened years ago but I thought it was a coincidence and maybe I was just sick in general, but after eating a LOAD of dried apricots this morning and then finding this page, I now know the truth.
    So far lots of stomach grumbling and one trip to the toilet. Not much farting but I have a feeling that’s because I’m too scared of shitting myself so I’m subconciously holding them in.
    These things are like steel wool for your insides, there were things in that toilet bowl I could not have imagined. I have been wanting to lose some weight, but not like this…. Not like this…
    I fear since I have only been once so far, there is more to come. I have to pick up my daughter from school in an hour.
    What have I done???

  216. Apricot Regrets Says:

    Thank you so much for this blog…..I spent Monday night glued to (or rather in lift-off from) my toilet having suffered several hours of subterranean gurglings….actually gurgling is too quiet a word to describe what was going on in my stomach…..accompanied by smells that would make a volcano blush and emissions every five minutes (I could have set my watch by them).

    I was convinced that I had some dire tropical disease (how?) but when I worked out what it was that I had eaten that my husband had not I googled ‘dried apricot gas’ and there I was……laughing until the tears ran down my face while suffering so badly at the same time. Feeling crap (literally) and reading how bad it was for other people strangely made me feel so much better. At least I was in my own house with an en-suite….

    I only ate ten dried apricots! But I had put some of them in a stew a few weeks earlier and everyone who ate it had toilet problems the next day and I could not work out which ingredient had caused it….now I know. I will never, ever eat a dried apricot again.

    There needs to be a public health awareness campaign about these things.

  217. kiki Says:

    I ate maybe like 5-7 pieces of dried pineapples and peaches. tasted bomb! then i fell asleep for a few hours and woke up with a killer stomach ache. but i got up to leave from my friends place to go downstairs to mine and as i left the door, my stomach ache quickly turned into an urgent mission to make it to my toilet as soon as possible.

    not sure if it was the lying down too long or something…as i was walking down the halls i started to feet really, really dizzy. but persisted to try and power walk it because i NEEDED that toilet. however i was unsuccessful in my mission and passed out 2-3 times and soiled myself :'( thank goodness this happened at about 1:30 AM and no one was around to witness this… still felt humiliating though.

    yo fuck dried fruits haha. fresh fruits all the way.

    PS sorry for the bump

  218. pedro Says:

    laughing this hard isn’t good when my ass is like a faucet, but I’m glad I figured out what the problem is. I saw a bag of these in the store and thought they’d be a healthy snack. I ate about 15 of those things and an hour later, my stomach was rumbling like crazy. I was lying in bed with my girlfriend and thought I had to rip ass really bad, so I got up to step out of the room. I went to fart and almost crapped my pants. I ran to the bathroom and almost didn’t make it. A bomb exploded from my ass with a thunderous roar as water shot out then up from the bowl like Buckingham fountain. For the next ten minutes it was like my ass was a high pressure hose. I thought back what I ate today and had nothing out of the ordinary so I googled the devils snack that has brought me here now. Excuse me while I now have another appointment with my toilet. Godspeed.

  219. James Says:

    Dear God,
    I’m so thankful I’m not the only one who has endured this!! I was like Pedro, who thought they would be a healthy (and safe) snack. Wow, did I screw the pooch on that one!! I sell cars….any one see the problem here? I ate a 1.25lbs package this afternoon at the dealership. I have been on 6 test drives with people and haven’t sold a car….I did things to the rest room here, that I cannot even elaborate on in proper english. Never again. All I’m sayin…..

  220. Paul Says:

    I have eaten half a kilo of dried apricots I emptied the gym and everyone hates me just because I am farting like I have done so before no squits yet

  221. Apricots are Insane Says:

    There’s not much I can add that others haven’t already painfully experienced. Except by the end of last night, after eating about 20-30 dried apricots, I was putting lotion on toilet paper and using that to soothe my nether-regions. It was awful. The only thing that closely rivals this is snarfing down more than one Fiber One bar in one sitting (there’s a comparable blog with over 600 replies pertaining to this, just google “fiber one bars please god no”). Now I’m wondering, what would apricots AND Fiber One bars produce TOGETHER?

  222. Dave Says:

    I get similar reactions from any food treated with sulfur dioxide, not just dried fruits like apricots — it could be raisins or dried apples or figs in commercial fig bars or regular molasses — just a small amount will cause urgent liquid diarrhea. Not so with all-natural raisins or figs or unsulphured molasses.

  223. Vince Says:

    I know exactly what these babies are capable of. I do recall having a sizeable disagreement with my partner one night before bedtime. She simply refused to come around & see my point of view
    So I simply gave up & agreed with her. Now if the history of the human race has shown us anything, it’s that desperate times call for desperate measures – I proceeded into the kitchen & ate about a dozen or so dried apricots, brushed my teeth & went to bed. The farts just kept coming out all night at their own pace while I was asleep
    The next morning the odour in our bedroom was pretty bad. Actually it was awful. I’ll never forget, it made Chernobyl meltdown seem like a day at the beach. It took 24 hours or so for the smell to disappear. She was in a state of shock, so I explained to her how it happened & why I would do something like that.
    I can gladly say we don’t have any more disagreements. If there is the slightest sign of another disagreement brewing, I just point out my stash (& yes there are spares scattered around the house, I call them my “war chest”) & offer a polite respectful reminder of what happened previously
    Works every time!!

  224. Alix Says:

    I had this exact same problem, and I only ate 9 of them! My boyfriend informed me the morning after that I had kept him up all night with horrifically disgusting farts and I was so embarrassed. I love dried apricots and have been trying to eat better lately so I thought this was the way forward. Googled it today and apparently it isn’t. Though I’ve also read that it’s mainly caused by dried fruits treated with sulphur dioxide. So that could be the problem, and the reason why it smells so bad (if anyone has ever smelled sulphur you know what I mean). Also apparently three dried apricots is the equivalent to 1 if your 5-a-day, so all of us lot eating twenty, thirty odd of them are definitely going to have issues. I find it strange though because I do believe there was a time where I never had this issue? Maybe I was eating untreated fruit without knowing. Odd.

  225. Lana Smith Says:

    After having eaten a bag of the devil fruit, I too was in for a night of terror. Luckily, I was off to see a concert. Several things were in my favor. A. The music was loud! B. It was outdoors, and a windy evening, and C. The pot was blowing around! This enabled me to let ‘um rip- and rip the did!! I’m talking 2 minute ones!! Thanks to the above God- send little helpers, do not think even my new husband noticed!!! No more devil cots for me!!!

    • Dave Says:

      From my experience with dried fruit, it is not the fruit itself but rather the sulfur dioxide, because I have the same bad reaction with molasses that is not unsulfured. I can eat all-natural fig bars and other fruit bars without any intestinal problem, but I can’t eat a single fig bar or other cookie fruit bar if the fruit filling has been treated with sulfur dioxide. Likewise, I have no trouble with blackstrap or other unsulfured molasses but have explosive diarrhea after eating something containing ordinary commercial molasses.

  226. Maisie-Lou Says:

    Falling of my chair here – this is so funny. I haven’t laughed this much or ages. I had apricots 36 hours ago and am still farting. My husband arrived home from work and walked straight into ‘the cloud’ – I don’t know if our marriage can rebound from it…will he ever look at me in the same way again?…. I couldn’t blame it on the dog…we haven’t got one….

  227. minka Says:

    Oh man. Glad I’m not one my own with this one. I love dried apricots but they do give me gas, though usually nothing too terrible. Haven’t had them in a while but got some on a whim and yesterday afternoon/last night ate a little more than half of the 1/2 lb. container. I definitely ate too many and was pretty farty from it but my husband is away on business so only my cats were disturbed, and they ended up being extremely curious to investigate the source of the sound and the strange smell. I had to shoo them away from my butt! This morning, however, I woke up, had coffee and then had a somewhat fiber-inspired BM…but about a half-hour later, BAM! I suddenly ripped this tremendous fart, followed by the urgent need to go to the bathroom again–and this time, it was the deadly-smelling explosion everyone is mentioning, so much so that I had to jump in the shower right afterwards to clean off. When I left the bathroom carrying the yoga pants I had been wearing, the horrible bathroom stench followed me all the way through the apartment. And that’s when I realized that my yoga pants were totally soiled inside. I was so freaked out by that, as it’s something that never happened to me before (not even as a kid that I can remember), I did the “apricot and diarrhea” Google thing, and like everyone else, found myself here. Now I’m laughing about my first ever crapping-in-my-pants experience and the power of an apricot fart!

  228. jeddrich Says:

    This urgent and explosive diarrhea, unintentionally soiling underwear, happened to me from eating a bran muffin made with molasses, so it had nothing to do with dried fruit, much less apricots. From past experience, I am assuming it was from the sulphur dioxide that is sometimes used in making molasses (as well as coloring dried fruit).

  229. Maisie-Lou Says:

    My wife has now identified apricots as the cause of her flatulant episodes. For many years we thought that it was just going to have to be something we had to live with, going for a walk when the house was engulfed etc.. Now that apricots have been eliminated from her diet, we again share a bed room and the general health of the family has improved. Our bearded dragon is also much more active. We now check all processed foods carefully for apricot content and have written to our MP to demand that a special warning symbol be displayed on dangerous food items. We now understand that commedy actors use apricots before flatulance scenes.

  230. Jenny Says:

    OMG this is hilarious. I ate a ton of apricots today at work and suddenly started blowing ass something fierce. Like loud, huge man farts. I thought something was wrong with me as I have never farted so much in my entire life. So I looked at the box the apricots came in and saw that sulphur dioxide was the preservative. Then I googled ‘does sulphur dioxide make you fart?’. Well this was the very first thing came up so I clicked on it and I’m sitting here in my office reading everyone’s posts and crying from laughter. Everyone is walking by my office wondering why I’m laughing and why it smells like shit hahahahahaha. Hope it doesn’t last too long. No more apricots for me yikes.

  231. Dave Says:

    ANYTHING with sulfur dioxide in it will do the same thing — not just dried fruit. For example, I have had serious diarrhea with regular molasses (not the unsulphured kind, such as blackstrap or Grandma’s), and also with cherry pie (cherries are supposed to look somewhat brown after being baked in pie, so if they are still bright red, you know they have been treated with sulfur dioxide to preserve their color).

  232. Mary Says:

    Lol!! Dried apricots and many of other dried fruits and very very high in fiber that is why they make you visit the potty with diarrhea hahaha my baby sister was constipated and when we took her to the doctor she recommended that we give her dries apricots which will relieve her! And after a bag of them she finally went potty and felt much better! Hahaha Soooo if your ever constipated eat dried apricots!!! Hope this helped someone :))

    • Dave Says:

      Many foods are high in fiber but they don’t cause diarrhea. It is not the fiber that is at fault, it is the sulfur dioxide preservative in many dried fruits and molasses.

  233. casey Says:

    Oh my god. Well this solves the mystery of why my tummy has been so upset this week. This whole pages had my crying of laughter whilst simultaneously holding my tummy and trying not to do any more farts…. oh dear…we have all fallen victim to the dried apricot…who knew

  234. Bee Says:

    My dried apricot farts are so bad they make my eyes water!!!

  235. Stinko Says:

    I have just Googled dried apricot farts and, from the settee of a house, in a city in England, I have arrived here, with other people so smited by a deeply unfriendly case of the trumps.
    May I take this opportunity to apologise to my daughter (4) who, after I’d read her a couple of stories and sang Twinkle Twinkle, had to fall asleep in a room that smelt like a French campsite.
    Fortunately, my husband is somehow immune. Which says quite a bit more than you’d think.
    No more dried apricots for me,

  236. Apricots Anonomous Says:

    OMG I love you people. We are all types – all creeds, races, ages, weights and opinions but we have one thing in common – we have been tempted and also fooled like Eve by the innocent appearing fruit of the Devil himself – and now we apparently have entered a sort of Apricopalypse!

    We must join hands across all boundaries and with one mind, one goal, heave together hard with a thunder that will blow Gabriel and his horn right out of the heavens and into a brave new world!

    And seriously, I wonder – what happens in Turkey? Aren’t they eating a lot of them as they seem to mostly be Turkish apricots, no? What is it like at night on Turkish streets? In Turkish baths? Could Turkey singlehandedly solve the energy crises with this previously unexploited source of natural gas? They are sitting on an exploding gold mine!

    For me it was There are so many of us, united in our experience, that we are sort of like Anonymous. Apricotonomous!

    We are legion! Expect us!! (to fart)

    Thank you, each and every one of you for giving me the best belly laughs I’ve had in a long while, making my poor husband simply appalled at my ongoing laugh crying, and rip roaring farts; continuously abusing the couch in a seemingly unstoppable duet of shame.

  237. Jess Says:

    Ohhh my stomach! I ate about 300g of dried apricots for breakfast thinking it was “healthy” – 1 hour later on my way to work I get crippling stomach cramps, my stomach feels like it’s about to explode. Called in sick and drove home. Sweating I stumble into the house and collapse in agony from my stomachache. Clutching a pillow tightly I winced at the huge explosions left my bum hoping that with each one my stomach would be relieved — much to my dismay it only got worse. It’s been 4 hours and I’m still lying here with my pillow digging into my aching cramping stomach . When will this be over ?? I went to the bathroom and couldn’t even shit ! Thought I might get lucky and have a big runny shit but no just cramps and gas for me :( I wouldn’t mind even throwing these apricots up just get them out of my stomach now!!!

  238. Greg Says:

    I did the same thing last night and had about 15 to 20 of those little bastards. I started out farting and during the night it progressively got worse and more. After a few hours I had to try to poop and oh my god the toilet could have exploded from the farts alone and the projectiles that were shooting out.

    After all the pooping was done my stomach and my colon feel like I just did a marathon and that I just was cleansed out from the inside out, but still a little gas.

    The projectile pooping and farting by the way was the worst ever!

    I do not recommend apricots as a snack unless you are off work and at home for a good cleansing and make sure you are near a toilet when it starts to go off cause it will happen in time.

    The toilet and you will become closer than you think.

    By the way all the above stories are awesome and funny since I was cracking up reading the different ones.

  239. salma Says:

    Oh, released to hear all this different experiences, I was basically surfing the Internet to know whether what I had over this weekend is common side effect/results of eating too much apricot or I’m allergic or reacting to something else.

    My story is not of a difference of what has been mentioned- I over ate apricot at a night, and I wake up with overwhelming pain from gas, and when got to the bathroom, there was a party there, if you know what I mean. just like what happen to any one of who shared their story.

    Well, I like apricot, but I will take slow at a time….

    Cheers,

    • jeddrich Says:

      I still think the culprit is not the dried apricots in themselves, but rather the sulfur dioxide preservative which is a know cathartic (strong laxative).

  240. Bonnie Says:

    Sat on pan 2 hours after eating 200g of the things
    Was funny at the start :(

  241. Bonnie Says:

    This is worse than the time I did 12 big bananas in 24 hours :(


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