Poop in my pants

March 14, 2006

Sometimes I poop in my pants by accident. It happens more than I’d like to admit. Heck, the fact that it happens at all is more than I’d like to admit. It happens because I think I have to fart, so I try to squeeze it out, but end up squinging in my pants. It’s not that I push too hard. It’s just that I sometimes have really liquidy poop. It happened yesterday at work. And what really sucks is that it gets on my underwear. So I go to the bathroom and take off my underwear. Yesterday, instead of walking around the rest of the day with no underwear, I decided to go buy some. That worked out well.

The same thing happened about 3 months ago, but it was because I was sick. Again, I was sitting at work and lifted my cheek to squeeze out a fart. I had to take off my underwear because they were wet. But then I ended up going home because I felt terrible, and I threw up later.

It happened another time when I was sitting on my couch at home. I didn’t want my wife to find out, so I tried to sneak in the bedroom and put on new underwear. I think I succeeded, but it was weird.

It happened another time when I was in college. I was walking to class and squinged in my pants. I went back to my room, but my roommate was in the shower. So I took my clean underwear to my girlfriend’s room and used her shower. I don’t think she suspected anything.

33 Responses to “Poop in my pants”

  1. happychick Says:

    Well, I dont think that’ll leave my mind for another couple of weeks. How do you spell- repulsive? WORST MENTAL IMAGE OF MY LIFE!! but ha on me for reading it, eh? And worth the churning of the stomach. xx

  2. uh yeah Says:

    DON’T QUIT YOUR FUCKING DAY JOB FUCKFACE

  3. divide Says:

    Thanks for that extremely useful comment, you waste of a human life. Go kill yourself.

  4. happychick Says:

    :) You got served. Divide- My man, you said it almost poeticly.

  5. stanlayurwife Says:

    wow next time take a video of you pooping your pants and send it to poopid videos…shithead

  6. happychick Says:

    Shut up. You’re a knob

  7. divide Says:

    Thanks for your comment, stanlayurwife. Your IP address is 172.201.156.239 and your email address is shaunyr@aol.com. Enjoy the spam.

    And thanks for the support, happychick. You’re my biggest fan. What’s a knob, anyway? Some sort of Australian thing, I guess.

  8. happychick Says:

    A knob? It’s another word for penis. Derogatory, but. Hope you don’t mind me constantly invading your blog and writing silly comments. :)

  9. divide Says:

    I don’t mind at all.

  10. the silent shitstain Says:

    I SHIT MY PANTS I LOVE IT I SQUEZZED ONE OFF A WHILE AGO ITS A CHUNKY MOTHER FUCKER. LEMME TELL YA SON I LOVE THEM DRIPPER FARTS.

    SENCERILY

  11. happychick Says:

    WTF. No. Not funny. Disturbing.

  12. happychick Says:

    But then, if you like that sort of thing… It might be considered funny. Hmm… So many angles

  13. lexi Says:

    wana have sex?

  14. divide Says:

    I guess so. Well, actually, I’m married, so I should probably try to remain monogamous. That’s how these things are.

    Aren’t you amazed I found a female to agree to marry me? It took a lot of money and physical violence, but eventually she said yes.

  15. happychick Says:

    Physical Violence is the way of the future. Don’t worry lexi, I’m sure if you post “wanna have sex” on enough people’s sites you’ll find someone who wants to stick it in. Unless it’s a creepy lesbian woman… Or an old obese Belgium man… But still, sex is sex.

  16. yoddle Says:

    can you tell a realiy enbrssing storie

  17. peepoooops Says:

    i poop my pants

  18. divide Says:

    I’m not sure what yoddle/peepoooops (same person) is trying to say with those comments. Obviously, she hasn’t heard of spell check.

  19. girl Says:

    no matter how old you ge poop jokes are funny so thank u divide for makin everyones day better with your stories!! anyone who cant laugh at them needs to calm down and just laugh

  20. divide Says:

    Girl, thanks for your encouragement. Poop and pee jokes just don’t get old.

  21. divide you stupid idiot Says:

    But divide you get old and like how old are you? 40 WOW thats old any way you suck and you need to get a job, get off the computer, and stop posting stupid comments (cut the sarcasum)

  22. divide Says:

    Thanks Jessalyn Langemo (aka Jessi13 and divide you stupid idiot) for your insightful and inspiring comments. You’ve really contributed a great deal here, and you’ve certainly enlightened us all with words like “sarcasum”. I’m not 40; I’m 24. I have a job. But no, I will not get off the computer. How else can I share my poop experiences with the world?

  23. tony Says:

    i like pooping my pants it fun an exciting the rush u get when you drop a load in your pants email me if u wanna talk to me or anything my email is finestein_tony@yahoo.com

  24. Jessi Says:

    Stalker!!!!!!


  25. I poop in my pants too! Email me.

    ..Please?

  26. Dan Says:

    Well, I can identify to a certain extent. I unexpectedly pooped in my pants during a conference meeting several weeks ago and it was very humiliating. My boss was standing next to me when it happened and he knew what I had just done from the sour look on my face and the peculiar smell that had filled the air soon thereafter. Discreetly, my boss lifted the tails of my suit jacket to confirm what I had just done and as he examined my poopy pants – he told me not to be embarrassed since accidents can and do happen when we least expect it. My boss has a 3 1/2 year-old son who is still in diapers, so he’s used to poopy pants and changing loaded diapers when he and his son are out in public, as he put it. He was only trying to be nice and make light of the situation. Still, I was totally mortified! My boss and I left the conference room and I told him I had to go home and change my pants immediately. My day was pretty much ruined at this point. :(

  27. PAul Says:

    man pooping your pants feels good, lol

  28. PAul Says:

    it feels GOOD when it happens, huh?

  29. Steve Says:

    It feels good to go when you are that desperate, but not so good to have filled your suit pants when you are trapped in a room full of people. Dan you are lucky to have such an understanding boss, who helped you to make a discreet exit without making a fuss about what was obviously an embarrassing accident. Hope the suit cleaned up ok and that not too many other people there noticed!

  30. bleh Says:

    Ewww how did I GET to this story? Oh well, it’s fine. I did chuckle a bit. OH, have fun with that poop problem. :D

  31. Ben Says:

    Yeah, I can relate a little here. Over Christmas, I went to the Home Depot with my dad to get some lumber for his car port and suddenly I had to use the men’s room, with that “feeling” starting to build up of having to have an enormous crap (it had been several days since I last had one, so you can imagine my desperation). Well, when I went into the men’s room all the stalls were in use and I waited and waited very patiently for one to open up. My bowels are churning like crazy and making noise…. it was just a matter of minutes until I would explode. Dad walks in to use the urinal and could see by the look on my face I was getting desperate. He chuckled to himself as he was doing his business. I told him I’d be waiting for him outside. Moments later – Dad walks out of the men’s room seeing me not being able to hold it any longer – as I squat and let out a HUGE explosive fart filling my briefs to capacity!! Man, it was one of those gushing craps that was a mix of being solid and mushy and very warm, too. Dad was embarrassed for me but seem to take it all in stride. After I was done pooping my pants, Dad said he could smell it and I asked him if the lump in my pants could be seen (it felt enormous!!) Dad said I had a large lump showing but not to worry…. as he mashed and patted the lump flat so it wouldn’t show. Dad chuckled and said, “Whew!! That’s one big stinky warm load in there!” And we both laughed a little and knew our trip to the Home Depot was over. We left quickly. I just wanted to get home, changed and cleaned up ASAP. It was awful. Dad drove me back to my apartment and dropped me off. We both laughed about what had happened and knew this unexpected incident would never be topped. I’m very lucky to have such an understanding dad. :)

  32. Paul Says:

    I pooped in my pants in my favorite coffee shop a couple of monts ago. I was studying for college and it just happened. I told the lady behind the counter (I had to – some got on the seat) and thank god she was real understanding. Naturally I was embarrassed to go back there, but I eventually did. Now its fine, it was an accident.


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